Page 51 of Vicious Secrets
Inthemidstofeverything that happened tonight—Robyn’s mother’s emotional abuse, Oscar’s fuckery, and my sudden onset tear duct revival—Robyn asked permission to love me. My brain translated her questions into, “I’m falling in love with you, and I’m afraid you’ll push me away.”
I don’t think my translation is wrong; why else would she put my emotions, wants, and needs above her own?
“There are pieces missing from what you just told me, Boss. But I’m not sensing kidnapping threats against your wife.” Alic’s voice comes through my phone. The glass of the screen is hot against my ear from a combination of how long we’ve been talking and how hard it’s pressed against me. “Maybe threats of gossip. The ‘guys out east who like mob girls’ comment makes the hair on my neck rise. Chrissy better be talking about the Padri.”
They might make mine rise, too, if Robyn hadn’t instantaneously pushed back on it. Then again, unlike Alic, I don’t have a broken-hearted sister to protect.
“Oscar’s never worked with the Padri.” I try to slump back on the sectional. My back refuses to relax, and my legs turn restless every time I unclench my muscles. I can’t tell if I want to go for a run or if I want to walk the twenty feet to where Robyn and Fabi are in the kitchen. Even with the blanket draped over my thighs, I feel like there’s a vent of cold air blasting me. “He’s likely following the Bratva to New York, and he saw an opportunity to win points with his daughter. Chrissy probably knows fuck all. She’s teasing Robyn.”
“Don’t discredit Chrissy; she thinks you stole her emotional support daughter.”
I snort and run a hand through my hair.
“Put surveillance on them, and if it gives peace of mind, extra security for Robyn. They’ll run eventually, and hopefully Robyn won’t chase after them.”
A pit forms in my stomach. Would she follow them? I’d like to think not. Tonight she alerted Fabi and trusted us to help her without a second thought. But I also watched her accept her mother’s bullying. Best I can tell, she’s desperately clinging to a pair of rose-colored glasses and toughing out the pain so she has a family.
Robyn’s smart. She can’t sincerely think I’ll let her go without a fight after she’s shown me something genuine.
“I’ll put eyes on them. And Robyn’s good at keeping secrets, but she’s not sneaky.”
My stomach muscles tighten and cramp as I wince. The feelings and thoughts spinning around in my head about Robyn’s sterilization are all half-formed. Am I angry, depressed, or relieved? Is all of the above an option? And if so, what am I torn up about; that we’ll never have children or that she “forgot” she kept a major secret?
It’s hard for me to pull this situation apart and look at it subjectively. Even though an heir is expected of me, if Robyn told me she didn’t want children, I wouldn’t have pushed back. It’s her body. We’d be having a child out of duty, not love. I’d never forgive myself if she gave in and was seriously injured while giving birth. But none of that logic calms the storm in my brain.
Alic hums. “Ah, so she’s the opposite of Cirilla. Good to know.”
An exasperated sigh draws my attention toward the kitchen.
“Eat more, or I will choo-choo spoon you your food!” There are several clangs of metal on granite, like Fabi’s tapping a spoon on the counter as a threat.
“Is that…” Alic’s voice drifts off as if he forgot what language he was speaking.
“My wife’s bodyguard threatening her? Yes. It costs extra, but she faints less often.”
“Fabi, I’m mortified, a little traumatized, tired, and doing my best. Fuck off!” Robyn’s voice bounces off the walls.
Alic chuckles. “Does Robyn have a sister?”
I roll my eyes, grin, and say loud enough to be heard in the kitchen, “No, but none of Fabi’s sisters are married.”
Alic snorts. “I’ll see you next week, Boss.”
“Night, Alic.” I end the call and tuck my phone away just as Fabi walks into view.
“Your Consigliere’s unmarried?” One of his brows raises, and his chin tilts. His arms cross over his chest as he walks closer as if he’s considering negotiating with me. A marriage to Alic would be a substantial step up for one of his sisters.
“Yes, but he’s in his mid-thirties.” I toss the blanket off my lap and stand. Rolling my shoulders does nothing to relieve the knots in my back.
Fabi’s nose scrunches as he grimaces. He rocks his head from side to side. “Yeah, I can’t see either of us accepting the age gap. His sister might be older than my oldest.”
I nod, and the weight of the day falls on top of my head. But I doubt I’ll sleep well tonight. “Good work tonight. You can head out now.”
Fabi drops his arms to his side. “Robyn’s the star. She called for help and kept calm under pressure. She trusts us.”
I want to suck in a deep breath or clench my fists or grind my jaw. But I’m not sure if he picked up that I didn’t know all of her secrets. Instead, I take a step toward him, pointing my finger at his chest, and say in a low voice, “And not a fucking word to anyone about her infertility.”
I’m tempted to add something like,“And the same goes for you witnessing me snuggle my wife like she’s a favorite stuffed animal I tore on accident.”But equating Robyn to an inanimate object risks giving an unintended message, and I’m too frazzled to think of a better metaphor. I selfishly clutched her to my chest because I needed her to hold me down, both mind and body. And I needed reassurance she doesn’t hate me for being frustrated with her.
