Page 137 of Secret Obsession
The feel of his hands on mine, the weight of his body as I dragged him down. I didn’t like not being able to stand on my own. It left me off-kilter.
Nowhe’sthe one making me wobble and not trust my legs.
His phone rings.
I automatically swipe to answer the call from Violet’s number. He doesn’t have it saved, but I recognize it anyway. I’ve been calling her since we both got cell phones in high school, after all.
“Hey,” I whisper.
“Oh, thank God.” Violet’s voice comes through loud and clear. “Miles said—”
“I don’t want to talk about him,” I interrupt. “Please.”
“Okay. No problem. Where are you?”
I sink onto the bed. Then off it, until I’m in a ball on the floor. My eyes fill with tears, and I have to wonder why the hell I’m so damn broken. “I’m home. But no one is here.”
“I’m coming,” Violet says. “Do you hear me? I’m coming for you, Willow. Just stay there.”
“Okay.”
“It’ll be—hey—”
“Willow.” Miles’ voice fills my ear. He sounds as fucking broken as I feel. “You just left?”
“That’s what I do.” I hate the lump in my throat and the agony ripping through my chest. “I leave people, Miles. It’s better that you learn it before you get too invested—”
“Oh, fuck off,” he growls.
I rear back.
“Too invested? I’ll show you too invested.”
The line goes dead with a beep. I rub my sternum, trying to get the knot there to loosen. It’s like I can’t take a deep enough breath, and I hate the way it hurts. I toss the phone away from me and reach up, fumbling for the blanket that’s folded at the end of my bed.
When my phone is charged enough, I’ll call my parents. Or my sister.
I’ll figure out where they are, and if they’re coming home, and I’ll pick myself up. Shower. Pull myself together. Pretend everything is fine.
But when it does turn back on, vibrating on my nightstand with notification after notification, it takes me a long moment to unfold myself from the floor. I glance at the incoming texts from Violet and Aspen. Even Thalia, who didn’t come with us, sent a message just to check in.
Setting it back down, I strip and head for the bathroom I share with my sister. My skin still carries traces of Miles, from his cum to his teeth marks, and I pause suddenly at the cuts in my breast.
I touch the X carefully. It’s scabbed over a bit, but at the scratching from my nail, it opens up again. There’s more blood on my chest, but it’s not all mine. Some on my other breast that my heart tells me is Miles’.
He cut both of us open.
Forwhat?
In the shower, I scrub at the cuts and the dried blood. And between my legs. It’s hard to even tell if I’m crying or if it’s just too hot. The water is scorching, turning my skin red and a little too painful. But I don’t stop until I’m clean. Whatever that means.
I find sweatpants that didn’t make it back to my apartment, old underwear with holes in it. A sports bra. It’s weird to dress myself. Isn’t that funny? After so much time letting Miles decide, I’m suddenly forced to choose for myself. A piece of independence stolen back.
There are no good t-shirts, nothing warm enough, until I raid my sister’s closet. She has a CPU sweatshirt and also some other colleges’ paraphernalia. She wants to go somewhere else, I can feel it. But I grit my teeth at the sight of the Shadow Valley crew neck. They’re one of CPU’s biggest rivals. Of course she’d want to go there. I pass it by for my own school’s sweatshirt. The memory of being beat by their dance team last year still rankles.
Digging deeper, I gasp and retrieve a tank top from the depths of the closet. The hanger comes loose, falling to the floor. “That sneaky bitch.” I laugh. I was fully convinced I’d lost this tank, which I tie-dyed for senior day in high school. And she had it all along.
Needless to say, I’m stealing this sucker back.
