Page 36 of Offensive Edge
They had a free afternoon and evening in New York City, and the guys broke into groups to explore. Rowan thought he was going to have to figure out a solo thing to do when Aaron hooked his arm around Rowan’s neck and told him they were going to check out the Oculus. It had been a while since Rowan had gleefully gone out to explore the city when they came here on roadies. He was either sad or tired. Now, he was mostly just tired, but he followed the kids to the subway and they headed south.
It was a brisk spring day, and Rowan was glad they got outside. They found the slices of pizza Mateo wanted, and wandered the shops in the bright, open sterility of the Oculus, its rib cage structure a protective white bubble high above them. Aaron bought his girlfriend a Kate Spade purse, but mostly they window shopped. They stopped in a tourist gift shop, and on a whim Rowan picked out a keychain that had a little Statue of Liberty on it.
“Trying to immortalize your wonderful time spending twenty-four hours in New York?” Mateo asked. He found a book of crossword puzzles for the plane. There was a little something about the atmosphere that made Rowan feel like he was in an airport.
“Just going to get it for Theo. He’s always wanted to go out to see the Statue of Liberty up close, but you never spend enough time in New York as a hockey player to justify it.”
“How is Theo?” Mateo asked. Their teammates had noticed a shift in their relationship recently, just like Rowan had.
“His head’s okay. Feeling better. His mom sounded hopeful for him getting back on the ice soon.”
Rowan looked at the keychain in his hand while he waited in line to buy it. This was stupid. It was weird, right? To have these dumbwhat if Theo was herethoughts. When he was in Texas, he could go weeks without thinking about Theo.
Or at least days.
Now, his Theo thoughts were as constant as they had been when they were teenagers.
He paid for his keychain and tossed Mateo’s crosswords on the counter to get it for him, too. At the last minute, he impulse bought a little bag of saltwater taffy. He didn’t know if it would be any good, but Theo was the only person he knew who actually liked it. He could probably squeeze in a joke about being careful to not pull his teeth out with it.
They hopped back on the subway to go uptown to a restaurant Link had made a reservation at for the whole team.
Rowan had pushed down the feeling of embarrassment and brought his camera along with them, and he forced Mateo and Aaron to take a selfie with him, feeling a little too old to be hanging out with them, but grateful they remembered him, regardless.
* * *
They returned to California with a couple of wins under their belt, but it wasn’t a sweep. Rowan wasn’t sure if he was projecting his own feelings onto his team or not, but it felt like everyone was just waiting for Theo to get back. The rest of the league may talk about Rowan like he was the savior of this team, but in San Jose, the boys trusted Theo. Rowan hadn’t quite earned that yet.
He and Vic arrived home after dinnertime. Vic hung out for just long enough to put a load of laundry in before he darted over to Julia’s house again.
Rowan had never had a relationship while he was in the NHL. He’d heard the celibacy jokes. But he also didn’t envy the guys whose schedules got so much more complicated once they got a girlfriend. Rowan liked the simplicity of his routine. He wasn’t in control of much, but he was in control of that. And after a while, the fact that the last person other than himself to touch his own dick was teenage Theo Lane, melted into normalcy.
Michelle had left the morning they were set to arrive back in California. In a text, she said it was her work schedule, and she regretted missing Rowan. But as much as he enjoyed Theo’s mom, being in the same room as her and Theo at the same time felt like a bad idea. He and Theo were too precarious for external examination. Especially by someone who had a front-row seat to how weird they were with each other as teenagers.
He wanted to fling himself into Theo’s arms when he got home, but he managed to be normal. He didn’t know if anything had changed for Theo in the days that had passed.
Once Vic had headed out, and Theo and Rowan ordered dinner, and Rowan dug out the trinkets he’d picked up for Theo on their roadie. He also found a New York license plate magnet with his name on it at the actual airport.
Theo was on the couch in the living room, and Rowan tossed the handful of things into his lap, then sat down on the chair kitty-corner to him.
“What’s this?”
“Just bringing a little NYC back to you.”
“Ro,” Theo said, picking up the magnet and running his thumb over his name. “My name is never on these things.”
“I know. There were a million of them. Every name. Not my name, of course.”
He held up the saltwater taffy next.
“I dunno if you still like that stuff, but I figured maybe you’d want it. You’re just the only person I know with such bad taste.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “Don’t make a tooth joke,” he said with just enough of a smile to see a peek of the cute gap in his top teeth. He turned the Statue of Liberty keychain over in his hands. “And Lady Liberty.”
“You’re seeing her with your own two eyes,” Rowan joked. He didn’t know what to say. These things had felt light-hearted when he’d picked them up, but now there was an intimacy that he’d overlooked. These weren’t casual gifts, even if he hadn’t spent more than a collective fifteen bucks on them.
“That was really sweet of you.” There was a beat as Theo continued to stare at Rowan’s gifts in his hands before he spoke again. “You are trying really hard right now.”
The directness surprised him. Fuck. He was trying really hard.
