Page 12 of Offensive Edge
“You’re not out there looking for a permanent place to live, so I don’t think you get to talk.”
He collected plates while Felix took their dinners out of the plastic take-out bag, and they each slid their food onto something more respectable in order to eat in front of the TV. Classy, always.
“I’m staying with a D-man who is functionally a messy child, but at least makes me laugh sometimes, and always adds my order to his takeout. You live with your biggest irritation.”
“He wouldn’t irritate me if he wasn’t so...”
“In love with you?”
That made Rowan cough out a laugh, surprised by the ridiculousness of what Felix just said to him.
“Theo hates me.”
“Theo wants to bone you. Have you seen how he looks at you?”
“With daggers in his eyes?”
“Like he’s undressing you at every moment. It looks a little predatory, I can see how you’d miss it.”
“That is not what’s happening.”
“How’s your uh, love life, then?”
“How is that related to Theo?”
“It’s not, I guess. You know I worry. I know we always talk about this, but I want you to find someone. I want to know someone in San Jose is taking care of you now that I can’t.”
“Felix,” Rowan started. His feelings about Theo were so strong and right under his skin that the rush of Felix-feelings threatened to break through the surface of him.
“You can do it,” Felix encouraged. “You’re young, hot, and rich. There are plenty of guys who would knock down your door.”
“You know it isn’t safe.”
“Isn’t it? San Jose isn’t exactly the wildest hockey market. The Bay Area is gay as hell. Just...think about it.”
For years, Rowan had been so entangled with Felix. Felix knew how Rowan felt about him, and even though Felix was straight, he had always been remarkably cool with being on the receiving end of Rowan’s romantic affections. And through their years in Texas, Felix’s actual romantic endeavors never panned out. He joked that he wished he was gay. Rowan fucking wished he was gay, too. They basically functioned as a couple, codependent on each other for everything. They shared a Venmo account for years. As the years went on, his romantic feelings for Felix cooled, but he still felt loyal to him. Felix was his comfort blanket. Romantic or platonic, Felix was his best friend.
“If you found someone to love, it would make me feel like this was all worth it, even if neither of us get a Cup out of this decision.”
“We’re both getting Cups.”
“Yeah, we are. But we also both need to start dating.”
Rowan’s heart beat double time as he realized what this conversation might mean. That Felix had found someone else.
“Are you—”
“I haven’t met anyone yet. Don’t worry, babe.” Rowan didn’t have the right to worry about Felix getting a girlfriend. But that didn’t mean his brain wasn’t racing.
Felix palmed the back of Rowan’s dark, messy hair and pressed a kiss to his temple.
“I want you to have that, too. Someone to take care of you,” Rowan said. He knew people thought he was selfish—and maybe there was some truth to that. But he wasn’t so selfish that he didn’t want his best friend to be single forever, just because Rowan couldn’t have him. “Or, rather, I want you to have someone to take care of.”
Felix didn’t need a caretaker, he needed someone to dote on. And it couldn’t be Rowan anymore.
“Mmm, yeah, that sounds about right.”
Felix’s deep, rumbly laugh was calming. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but they needed it. Rowan wanted Felix to know that he wasn’t going to get weird when Felix eventually found a woman to settle down with. They pulled up the HBO drama both of their teams had been talking about in the locker room lately and finished their dinner.
