Page 33 of Offensive Edge
Rowan gave him a nod and didn’t push. Theo got up and brushed his teeth and got dressed, and Rowan gave him his space.
“I’m going to go down to breakfast, I guess,” Rowan said. “Unless you need help?”
“Nah,” Theo said. Having five minutes to himself would be good.
“Okay. Stay off your phone, alright?”
“Sure.”
Then Rowan was gone. Theo let out a breath and sat down on the end of the bed.
He had a couple minutes before he had to be on the bus, so he ignored Rowan’s direction and unlocked his phone to call his mom.
“Rowan?” she answered.
“It’s me, Mom.”
“How’s your head, sweetie?” she asked, her voice automatically a notch lower.
“Not great. Sounds like Ro told you I’m out for a while.”
“Yeah. Ro, huh?”
“I don’t know, Mom.”
“I thought you two hadn’t been connecting this season.”
That was a nice way to phrase it. If anyone knew how brokenhearted and angry Theo was, it was his mom. His mom got the immediate aftermath of Rowan leaving him behind. She had borne witness to the soul-crushing embarrassment Theo felt when he had been relegated to two more years of junior hockey than Rowan had. She hadn’t been with him in Carolina, but he hadn’t hidden how much he had been struggling in those years, too.
“It’s hard to explain. He got the flu, and I took care of him. And then this. I guess he felt like he owed me.”
“I don’t think you want to hear this, but I don’t think that he is doing anything for you out of a sense of obligation. You probably haven’t seen the video yet.”
“I saw.”
“I’ve watched that boy play a lot of hockey, and I have never seen him like that on the ice. He was feral for you.”
“Please never use that phrase again.”
“Alright, alright. Should I come down to stay with you?”
Theo thought about the calendar coming up. They would go home after they played the Fame, have a practice, play the Northern Lights at home, then fly out to the East Coast to play the New York teams and New Jersey.
“Yeah, maybe. We’ll talk about it later. I don’t think they’ll make me go on the East Coast trip, but maybe I’ll feel totally better by tomorrow.”
“Well, I’ll look for tickets. Let me know when you get home, alright? I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“Love you, Mom,” he said, hanging up. The idea of Rowan across the country from him felt kind of awful. He didn’t know what was going on. It scared him. But maybe the distance would be good. He had a tangle of weird feelings to sort out.
And then he remembered Felix Becker. In his mind, when he thought about Felix, he thought about him coming out of Rowan’s bedroom shirtless.
He was angry; he was jealous. He was sure there was an element of gay yearning happening. That had never fully gone away, no matter how sad, upset, resentful, embarrassed, and left behind he felt.
Whatever was happening with Rowan felt volatile. It felt like he wasn’t in control of it. It scared him.
TEXT MESSAGES STARTED AND (MOSTLY) NOT SENT FROM THEO TO ROWAN:
DECEMBER 24, 2014
