Page 15 of Lies You Told
I know I'm screwed right now, though.
10
CHLOE
Irun into the changing room, my chest hurting, as I can hardly breathe. How in the world did I end up here? More to the point, how did Jax end up here? I thought I saw him here last week when Kieran carried me off to the aftercare room. But I just put it down to him being on my mind and the guy looking like him.
Fuck!
Was it him that night? I just put it down to the guy looking kind of like him, and I’d just gotten into another argument with him. I thought I was seeing things, projecting. I mean, I’ve thought about him more in the last week or so than I have in the last decade.
When Jacob called me this afternoon, telling me a member was looking for a scene partner, I knew I should have been more apprehensive. But I really listened to what Kieran was saying when we had coffee earlier in the week. I need to put myself out there more. Well, that bit me in the ass.
I open my eyes and see a woman crouched in front of me with a worried expression. “You okay?” she asks. She pulls her blonde hair over her shoulder, so it’s not falling in front of her face.
I shake my head.
Then I realize I can hear Jacob outside the door, and I can hear in his voice that he is worried. He’s never seen me like this. I’ve never done anything like that.
He might be the Manager of this place, but even he is limited in where he can go. I hear the door open, followed by heels clicking on the tiled floor of the changing room. I pull my face away from my knees and see Kate standing before me. She’s an owner of Hidden Secrets with her partner. They still live in Los Angeles but come to New York monthly. They say it's to check on the place, but I hear they have some sort of thing with Jacob. I’ve never been here on a night when all three of them are here, and I don’t really socialize with anyone, so…
“Chloe? What’s the matter? Jacob is just about ready to break every one of his rules in this place.”
“I know the guy,” I whisper.
I’m so glad to be having this breakdown with Kate in town. Kate is one of the few submissives I’ve bothered to get to know in this place, which isn’t ideal because… well, she’s not always around. She sits next to me on the bench and tentatively puts her arm around me. I tense under her touch before relaxing. She’s not a threat. She’s my–I hope–friend.
“Jacob gave me the gist of it. How do you know Jax?” She smiles.
“How do you?” I throw back at her like a grenade I don’t want to be left with when it goes off. “Judging by the way you said his name and the smile on your face, I’m guessing well?”
“We’ve moved in similar circles for years. He’s been a member in L.A. since the beginning. Was one of our first members. Mike knows him better.”
“I take it they’re having this same conversation somewhere else?” I look around the locker room for the first time. I see it’s empty, which is unusual for this time on a Friday night.
“We’ve hated each other since college,” is all I say. Kate doesn't seem too impressed with my answer, though. “He spread a bunch of lies about me. We’ve hated each other ever since. Lucky for me, I’ve not seen him in like ten years. But whenever we are around each other, I feel like I did back then.”
“Well, I don’t know what he was like back then, but people change. I had a friend in college, too, a real man whore. Now he’s settled down. All loved up, and it’s nice to see. Look, guys in college have half a brain cell…”
“Not Jax. He’s smart. Always has been.” I almost want to gag by uttering these words, but it’s true. If he hadn't pushed me… we would have made each other better and smarter with every paper.
“He’s not a bad guy. He’s also a very competent Dom. Let’s just say a few ladies in L.A. are unhappy he’s on the other side of the country.”
My eyes widen at what she’s just said.
“Not all scene partners have a sexual element to them.”
She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. But can I trust Jax with the one thing I need my complete trust to be locked in on? “I know this. Kieran and I, it’s not always…”
“Yeah, Kieran is also chomping at the bit to make sure you're okay. But let's not get off topic. That’s what toys are for. You have all the power in this exchange. You're the person who decides how far things go and what the limits are. Why don’t you both sit down and talk to each other? I’ll get Mike to mediate if you want? Or Jacob, if you’d be more comfortable with someone you know.”
I take a deep breath. “Okay, but I want Jacob to mediate or Kieran. No offense, but if Mike and Jax are as close as you say—”
“He won’t be offended. I think he’ll be relieved.” She laughs.
We stand up and walk to the door together. I’m surprised to see a brick wall of Jax, Mike, Jacob, and Kieran all leaning against the opposite wall. When I turn my head, I see a line of about ten people waiting to enter the locker room. “Sorry, guys,” I apologize.
They give me a weak smile as they filter in. Jax has a look in his eyes I’ve never seen before. I’ve seen him pissed because it’s always aimed in my direction when we’re in the same room. But this time, it's different. It’s anger, but laced with… arousal. I look down and see I’m wearing leather shorts that barely cover my ass, and a black mesh top, my breasts wanting to break through from the barely there bikini top. In the public playroom, submissives are required to wear lingerie or fet-wear. For my first meeting with a new Dom, I needed the added level of protection of the mesh top. Now I’m glad I did. Jax has glanced at my tits more than I could count in the years I’ve known him.
