Page 39 of Hateful
He looks stricken. “What has to stop?”
“This thing with Beck,” I clarify, and he relaxes. My stomach erupts in butterflies as I wonder, just for a second, what he was worried about. Was he worried that I was talking about this? About …us?
“Someone is going to get hurt, and that someone is probably going to be me.”
“I’ve already told you,” he says, “I can’t make it stop without telling them everything.”
“And so, what?” I snap, pulling away from him. A cold breeze picks up, some powdery snow drifting sideways across the ground near my feet. “So, what if they find out what you almost did?”
He flinches as if I actually said it. Out loud.
“Ican’t, Alex.”
“So you’ll just stand by and let Beck do the same thing to me?” I demand, gesturing wildly. “You’ll let him escalate and escalate until … until … and as long as nobody knows what youalmostdid, you’ll be fine?”
“It’s not—that’s—it’s not like he’s going to kill you!” Jasper stammers, his cigarette falling from his hand, barely half smoked.
“That’s what I thought about you until you almost did!” I snap back. “But killing me isn’t what I’m worried about. You sure Beck can handle himself as well as you did, if he gets the same chance to be alone with me?”
Jasper flinches back again, this time as though I’ve slapped him. Somehow this pisses me off so much the whole world turns red around me. How dare it affecthimthat way, when I was the one left bleeding on the floor?
“I can’t tell them,” he mutters, and I shake my head.
“Then I can’t be around you,” I growl, my hands curling into fists. I can’t do anything to Jasper. He’s stronger than me, and I know it. There’s no way I can hurt him.
At least, not physically.
“From now on,” I say, shaking with anger, “you’re just the guy who almost killed me.”
“I amnot,”he growls, but I don’t back down.
“Well then, would you rather be the man who almost—”
“Stop!” he hisses, looking stricken again. He stares at me wide eyed for a moment before his face entirely falls. He slumps back against the wall, a look of utter defeat and shame written across his features.
Not enough shame, however, to be willing to admit—even to himself, let alone Beck and Heath—what he’s done.
So, I storm through the door leading back inside the school without looking back.
And I head straight toward the school records room.
Chapter Fourteen
It’s not exactly nighttime.In fact, it’s barely past noon. People still buzz around the hallways, students and professors alike flitting back and forth like bees in a hive. Or fish in a barrel.
I shove my hands inside my hoodie pockets and just try to blend into the crowd.
I’m not sure how many people can recognize me by my silhouette alone. Despite how rich everyone is, I’m not the only student whose fashion choice is oversized hoodies outside of class, but I still try to stick to the edges of hallways, to shadows.
I have to go look in places I haven’t explored within the school. I have to find the records room.
There’s the dean’s office—I could try there. It seems logical to me that the records room would be nearby. I’ve neverbeento the dean’s office, of course, but I head in the vague direction of where I think it could be. I don’t have my map of the school with me. I doubt it’d have the records room labeled anyway.
As ignorant as the staff here like to play at times, they’re not as dumb as they look.
At least, I don’t think they are.
I run into fewer and fewer students as I wander further and further from the dining hall, my rage toward Jasper still churning in my stomach. Fuck him, fuck The Brotherhood, andfuck this school. Other girls should absolutely be able to come here. Maybe it would cut down on stupid shit like this.
