Page 57 of Seasons of Love
"If they wanted to kill you they could have done it from afar without warning."
"The bastard wanted me to be scared, to keep running for my life until he was tired of playing. This went on for four years until I went to the police. I promised I'd tell them anything they needed to know about the club if they helped me hide somewhere safe. I was so scared that even if they had put me in jail I would have thanked them. The officer I spoke to lost his brother to gang crime, so he took all the information he could from me and gave me an address in Atlanta."
"Ted?"
For the first time since Slade started his story he smiled, a genuine happy smile.
"I was gathering enough courage to go in and speak to Ted when Mike saw me. His smile was infectious, and if I'm honest, that's what made me cross the road. Someone who smiled like that couldn't have a difficult life, couldn't know what I knew. I craved that. He was like those jam-filled doughnuts. You have one and then another. But by the third you think you're gonna die, so you wait a little longer and then you can eat another one. And when the bag is empty, you go buy more. Because who wouldn't want to live for jam-filled doughnuts?"
My heart filled with hope for the young guy who'd gone through so much and finally found his little piece of heaven.
"There was a cost to all that though. Ted knew about me, but Mike couldn't. Within a few weeks I had a new name and social security number. I was a new person. It took me exactly six months to ask Mike to marry me, even when it wasn't legal to do it. We actually never really got married, even though we used the terms marriage and divorce, we didn't do it officially."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I always held back. The longer I lived my new life, the longer the lie chased me. Mike knew I loved him, but there was something missing."
He didn't need to tell me anything else. The time for talking was over.
I ran my fingers softly down his face, collecting the few tears that left his eyes, stroked his soft beard, and then pressed my lips against his.
"Slade," I whispered.
"Yeah?”
"I'm still here."
"I'm still me."
"You are, as am I."
For the rest of the night, Slade took solace in my body. I was his safe place because he was mine. I'd decided I was going to keep him because anything else just didn't seem like an option to me.
When I opened my eyes the next morning, Slade wasn't in bed. I knew I was a cuddler, so it was a testament to how much he wore me out the night before that I didn't feel him leave.
I got up to use the bathroom, and when I came out, he was coming back into the room with coffee and a bag.
"Morning. I got us some pastries. Figured we should eat something, even though I'm not really hungry."
I walked toward him and smiled when he opened his arms for me instantly.
"Thank you. You're right, we should eat something."
The hospital was a short drive away from the hotel. The closer we got, the more fidgety Slade became. He was clearly anxious to find out more about his uncle's health, and I suspected also nervous to see his ex-husband.
Mike was nothing like what I'd expected. Physically, if Slade was a silver-fox, Mike was a total bear. He had shiny eyes, a thick beard, and a friendly smile.
"Mike this is Aiden, my..."
"Friend," I said, interrupting Slade. "Nice to meet you."
Mike held out his hand. "Likewise."
There was an awkward pause until Slade said, "Can we see Ted?"
"Of course. I'm afraid it's family only," Mike said, looking at me. I couldn't tell if he was apologetic or not.
"That's okay, I expected that. I'll wait for you here."
