Page 53 of Seasons of Love
“I don’t know,” I confessed. Did I want to believe Wren? Hell yeah. But as much as my confidence had grown since being with Slade, I was still afraid to take such a big risk.
Breaking up with Richard took a toll on me, not because of us, but because of what he did.
If Slade didn’t return my feelings and didn’t want a relationship with me…I didn’t think I’d survive that. Which told me exactly how deep my feelings for him went.
“Hey, come here.” Wren hugged me tight. “I wish I could take back all the things Tiny Dick did to you, but since I can’t, I’m going to say this, and I hope you’re listening to me. You have a family here. Slade or no Slade, if San Diego becomes too lonely you will be welcomed here.”
“Thank you. I know that…I do…and I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, how about we race back? Tom is making brownies, so I need to burn some calories before I spend the rest of the day eating chocolate off him.”
“TMI, Wren. TMI.”
“Like you don’t want to do the same,” he snorted before he took off running.
I had a second shower at the apartment, grabbed my stuff and walked back to Slade’s place.
Since I’d been in Chester Falls, my car had been thoroughly neglected, and I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. It felt good to walk into town along the river path, and whenever Slade and I worked late, he’d sometimes take me home on his bike.
I was avoiding thinking of my return to San Diego, as much as it was also constantly in the back of my mind. There was no question that I needed to get back, but the thought of stepping into my much larger apartment didn’t hold any appeal. To think I’d once thought it was the perfect place for me. View of the ocean, lots of light from the floor-to-ceiling windows, it was perfect for someone who worked from home. But was it still?
When Slade opened the door to his place, I knew something wasn’t right. I put my bag on the floor by the door and took the box with the apple pies that I’d picked up from Benny’s into the kitchen.
Slade sat on his couch facing the window, wearing an expression I couldn’t decipher.
I was relieved when I made a gesture for him to scoot over and he did, so I wedged myself between him and the arm of the couch. He didn’t complain when I put my arms around him, in fact, as soon as I did, he leaned back and laced our fingers together.
“What happened?”
“Mike called again. His uncle is in the hospital.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that, sweetheart. Are you close to him?”
Slade’s voice was low and laced with pain. “He saved my life.”
I wanted to know the story behind that statement, but it was only another piece of the puzzle that was Slade Warren. Maybe one day I’d see the whole thing complete, or maybe not, but this wasn’t about me.
“How serious is it? Should you go see him?”
“I don’t know. How serious it is, I mean. Mike just told me to come home.”
“Do you think he would say that lightly?”
“No. Mike loves his uncle like a father. Ted…he’s…fuck, I don’t know what to do. I haven’t seen him or talked to him since I left Atlanta. He's an amazing man. He gave me a job at his garage when I had nothing but my bike and the clothes I was wearing.”
I kissed the side of his head, and he let out a sigh. “I’ve never looked back, Aid. Always kept moving. I’m scared that once I go back for one thing, it’ll force me to face the rest.”
“Revisiting the past isn’t always bad. We change as we grow. Sometimes going back means you can bury the past and put it to rest. Which…fuck…that’s not what I meant about your uncle. Shit.”
How un-fucking-sensitive was I? In trying to make things better for Slade, I was basically saying he was going to Atlanta for a funeral.
Slade chuckled. “You are such a writer, baby. Don’t worry. I know what you meant. Maybe you’re right. I love Ted. He was part of my life for such a long time, and if he’s not well then I need to put my shit to one side and go see him.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Slade turned around in my arms and I braced myself for the rejection.
“I couldn’t ask that of you, Aid. You have your own work to do.”
