Page 182 of Seasons of Love
“It’s not a deal breaker, is it? Everyone has a past. Didn’t you say Sara isn’t his biological daughter? So he has a past too. What’s the big deal?”
I lean back in the armchair.
“When…Boston happened, I was broken and lost. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to fall in love again.”
“Well, that’s a stupid thing to promise yourself because it’s obvious you were going to break that promise,” she says.
“What do you mean?”
“Ellis, you’re the most loving person I know. Do you know how often you randomly mentioned Milo in conversation before you even got to know him?”
I frown. “I did?”
She rolls her eyes.
“Constantly. ‘I went to the store, and Milo was talking about this book he read. Did you know Milo has a daughter? I don’t know why Milo is so shy when he’s the nicest person,’” she says, imitating my voice.
I want to argue with her, but thinking about it now, it’s obvious there was always something about him.
“Don’t you think the age gap between us is too big? He’s twenty-six. God, when I was twenty-six, he was a child.”
“Yeah, and when he’s forty-two, you’ll be fifty-eight. Congratulations, we can both do math,” she says. “Don’t be silly. Milo isn’t like any other guy his age. He’s mature, responsible. He’s absolutely perfect for you.”
“But what about when he wants to do fun stuff and I don’t because I’m old and set in my ways?”
She leans forward and rests her elbows on her knees. “In the time you’ve been together, has he ever given you the impression he’s bored or not having fun?”
“No. Quite the opposite. He’s great to talk to, and we don’t need to do anything extravagant in order to have fun.”
My memories take me back to the crab rolls we shared. Milo insisted on paying for them, and I let him because it was his idea to go there and they were cheap enough.
We sat looking at the amazing view, and nothing in my life ever felt so right.
“That look on your face,” Alice says.
“What about it?”
“I’ve never seen it before. I know how much you loved…you know who. But the kind of love you feel for Milo? That’s a completely different kind. It’s the forever kind. Can I be honest?”
I chuckle. “When have you ever not been?”
She throws one of her decorative couch pillows at me. “When you told me about the surrogacy, I thought you were joking.”
What?
“Why?”
“Because I felt you were the only one who wanted it. Being a parent when you’re part of a couple is a two-person job, even when you disagree. I don’t think he ever wanted it as much as you did.”
Her words make sense, but they’re also a dagger to my heart because I was the one who lost everything in the end.
“I know what you’re thinking, but trust me, all the pain you went through will feel like it was worth it when one day you get to walk down the aisle and marry Milo. Or when you take Sara for her first day of school.”
A lump forms in my throat.
“Oh, Ellis.”
I could never hide anything from my sister, so it’s no surprise that she knows how much those things matter to me. How much and how long I’ve wanted them.
