Page 121 of Seasons of Love
“No way, you greedy girl. This is my sandwich. You didn’t see me try to eat your yummy veggie sludge, did you?” Milo says to her.
I’ve prepared my sandwich, which I’m eating as I observe the interaction between the two people in front of me.
I’m caught staring when Milo suddenly looks up. “What? Do I have anything on my face? Please tell me none of her orange food is on my face because that stuff is worse than fake tan. Who’d have known carrots and tomatoes were so fierce?”
“You say that from experience?”
“Nope, I’m happy being pasty white. But I see my fair share of fake tan fails at the store. Anyway, time to get back to work. What do you say, princess?” He pokes Sara’s tummy, and she holds on to his hand.
“No, don’t go. I want to play,” he says in a jokey voice.
“Okay, you be my sugar mama, huh?”
Sara stares at him like she understands.
“Yeah, didn’t think so.”
I laugh and hold out my arms. Without hesitation, Milo places Sara on my lap, then goes to the bathroom again and returns wearing the dirty T-shirt.
Sara and I watch as Milo works for a while.
“Your daddy is quite something, isn’t he?”
She makes a dada sound. “That’s right, he’s your dada.”
I’m not sure how long we stay there, but Sara seems happy to watch the activity outside, so we remain as we are.
Milo keeps ripping planks of wood out of the shed and putting them to one side. The collapsed roof of the shed comes apart, creating a cloud of dust.
I know Milo isn’t near it, so I’m not worried for him, but I realize I’m the one who may need medical attention when I see that he’s removed his shirt in order to protect his face from the dust.
“Christ, why didn’t you warn me, girl? You could have said that is what your dad looks like under his clothes.”
Great, and now I’m talking like a pervert to a baby.
But fuck. Milo is slim but strong. Not muscly, but with definition, although I’d love to see him fill out a little more. Even though his hair is brown, he has a lighter, almost blond trail of hair below his belly button that disappears under the waist of his jeans.
He’s determined, and as I’ve observed, he’s also capable of anything he sets his mind to.
What would it be like if he set his mind on me?
What would it be like being held by him?
Taken by him?
Why do I feel like the one man I can’t have is the one that could give me everything I’ve ever wanted, including the treasure in my arms?
I step away from the door.
My thoughts are too much to bear.
12
MILO
The great thing about working for Ellis, even these few hours over the weekend and some here and there in the week, is that now I will have enough money to cover my rent and bills when I get paid.
I don’t want to think about when the job is over. I’m still trying to save as much as I can. I don’t know what I’ll do then. How long I’ll be able to pay the increased rent if I don’t get another job. But it’s not something I want to think about right now.
