Page 440 of Seasons of Love
“Because…because you’re both as wild as each other, you’re both hurting, and I’m afraid that if you use sex as a distraction, you’ll both end up destroying each other.”
He stared at me. Shock and hurt were written all over his face.
“Zak…I’m—”
“That’s okay, I get it.” He got up from the bed. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here? It’s only for a few days. I have a thing in LA, and after that, I’ll be out of your way.”
“Of course you can stay. As long as you like.”
I broke the distance between us with only a few steps. “Zak, wait. I’m sorry. Look, you know I’ve always been honest with you.”
He nodded.
“This isn’t some kind of big brother thing with Gabe. I can’t stop you from hooking up. You’re both adults. I just don’t want either of you to hurt at the end.”
His big brown eyes were sad as he shrugged. “He’s probably not even gay, and if he is, he might not be interested. You said he goes to Berkeley, right? There’s probably a load of hot, smart people for him out there.”
What the hell?
“Who are you, and what did you do with my confident, overbearing best friend?”
“Still me,” he mumbled. “Just brought down a few notches. About time, right?”
I shook my head. What had happened since I last saw him?
Guilt filled my conscience. I’d been so focused on work and enjoying this thing with Mal and Griff, I’d neglected my best friend.
He’d always been so self-sufficient. A go-getter. Nothing could bring him down.
Had that been a mask? And how had I missed it?
“Hey, Zak…”
“Yeah?”
He was almost by the spare bedroom door.
“You know what happens next week?”
He narrowed his eyes in deep thought before a smile worthy of the old Zak graced his face.
“We’re having the party of all motherfucking parties?” He squealed.
“Whoa.” I shook my head.
“Nope. This is just what we need. Leave it to me.”
He went inside the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me full of apprehension.
I hadn’t given any thought to my birthday. I guessed I should celebrate it since I was turning thirty, but Uncle Frank hadn’t mentioned it, Gabe would probably be gone by then, and the thought of spending the night wrapped around my men was more appealing than a party.
My phone rang in my bedroom, so I ran back in to get it, pressing the green button as soon as I saw Griff’s name on the screen.
“Hey.”
“Hey, baby, are you staying at your house tonight?” Griff asked.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, my best friend is here.”
