Page 394 of Seasons of Love
My uncle put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. A lump formed in my throat, so I cleared it and turned the speaker on, connecting it to my phone and looking for the music app.
Her soulful voice filled the air around us and mixed with the sound of the waves, singing about love, destiny, and happiness. Tears ran down my face.
I read stories about people that kept voice messages from their loved ones after they died. Being able to listen to my mom’s voice doing what she loved the most always hit me hard.
My mom had, in some ways, been very selfish. She’d had a dream and stopped at nothing to make it come true. She nearly made it too.
Had it not been for the drunk driver that had hit her car from behind on one of the rare days when she was on her way to the island to see me, she’d have seen her recently recorded album reach the charts.
“Some days, I want to hate her,” I said. “She left me behind. Her music was more important than her own son.”
My uncle let out a choked laugh. “I used to call her pig-headed, but I think we shared the same determination to succeed. The difference was that I wanted to give people an experience they couldn’t forget through time away on vacation, and she wanted to do it using her beautiful voice.”
“But you didn’t abandon Aunt Annie or Gabe, and there was still space in your life to take me in.” A sliver of anger threatened to rise, but I squashed it down. Anger toward my mom served no purpose.
“Do you think if she hadn’t died, that one day she’d have come back for me and we’d be together? That we’d do all the things that she wasn’t able to do with me when she was working hard to be noticed?”
The song was ending, so we grabbed the bunch of daisies, her favorite flowers, and threw them out into the water, one by one.
When all we could hear were the waves again, and all we could see were flowers floating away with the tide, my uncle turned to me.
“I know I don’t say it enough, Jacob, but I love you as if you were my own son. I am grateful every day that your mom never brought your father into your life because we wouldn't have you otherwise.” He put his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “You make me proud every day, and I know you are a good influence on Gabriel. We can spend a lifetime second-guessing what would have happened if things were different, but we can’t change the past.”
“I love you too, Uncle Frank, and not a day goes by that I don’t feel thankful to you and Aunt Annie for raising me. Even if Gabe is a pain in the ass most of the time.”
He laughed, and I realized that since I’d left for college, we hadn’t had many times when it was just him and me.
“Now,” he said, straightening up and putting on what Gabe and I liked to call his dad-face. “I believe Gabriel is at the top of the cliff waiting to take you out for a drink.”
“Are you coming?”
“Nah, I’m gonna take Jessie for a walk and then settle in to watch a game on the TV.”
It wasn’t until we turned to leave that I saw a lone figure at the other end of the beach. There was rarely anyone here because of the rocky path down the cliff, and the sandy part was much smaller. Tourists, and even locals, preferred to go to the bigger beach on the other side.
I’d have ignored the person if I hadn’t recognized him.
I told my uncle to go on up as I walked over to where Griff was sitting, looking out toward the horizon.
“Hey,” I said, putting my hands in my pockets for something to do with them.
Between Griff and Mal, I was definitely a lot more comfortable with Griff. Attraction and everything else aside, he was such a warm, welcoming person. Not that Mal wasn’t, but I didn’t know what to make of the way he looked at me, of how intense it felt to be under his gaze.
“Hi, Jake. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything. I didn’t see you and Frank until I was halfway down the rocks. I’d have gone to say hi, but I saw you throw the flowers and figured you might not want to be disturbed.”
I smiled and sat next to him on the rock.
“My mom died fifteen years ago, today. Uncle Frank and I always come here every year. Despite doing her best to leave the island, she loved the sea. This is our way to remember her.”
Griff put his hand on mine and squeezed. “That’s beautiful, Jake. I’m sure wherever she is, she’s looking down on you and smiling.”
I shook my head, unsure if my increased heart rate was because of Griff’s words or his touch.
“Thank you. I like to think that too,” I said, standing up. “Um, I better go. Gabe is waiting for me. I’ll see you around.”
Griff’s warm smile made me want to hug him, burrow into him, and stay there until today wasn’t today anymore.
“It was nice seeing you again, Jake.”
