Page 189 of Seasons of Love
“I don’t understand.”
“Milo, you’ve been avoiding talking about Gloria’s call last weekend. You’ve practically been avoiding me too.”
He fills up the bread and pushes both sides together with such force that he’s practically flattening the sandwiches into pancakes.
“Milo, baby.”
“No, Ellis. I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Can I forget this is happening? You wanted me to help out the playground, so I’m helping out the playground. You wanted me to take the GED exams. I’m taking them next week. I don’t know what else you want from me.”
He’s practically shouting. I know it’s not directed at me, but it still stings.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?” I ask.
He puts the knife down. “No.”
“Tell me how I can help you, baby.”
“I don’t know, Ellis. That’s the problem. I don’t know how to solve anything anymore.”
I wish he would lean on me, but I feel like he’s slipping through my fingers, too lost in his pain to see how many people he has around him, ready to stand up and help.
A knock on the door stops our conversation. An older man comes into the kitchen, stopping when he spots Milo.
“Brian.”
“Hey, son.”
Brian?
Milo looks like he’s seeing a ghost.
Brian, who I assume is the Brian that keeps refusing to come to the soup kitchen, is rooted in place, his hands together in front of him, but I can see them shaking.
“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” Brian asks.
“It has.”
“I just wanted to say that your old man would have been very proud of you. I know I’m a cantankerous old bastard. I do all the things I shouldn’t and very few of the ones I should. But I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for what happened. I wish I’d seen it coming, but I was too blinded by my anger. Your father was my best friend, and I let him down. I let you all down.”
Milo gets closer to Brian and places his hands on Brian’s shoulders. “Someone very wise keeps telling me that when we spend too much time thinking about the things we should do, we forget about those we can do.”
“Wise words indeed.”
“I’ll introduce you to her later. Do you want to help me with the sandwiches?”
Brian smiles and rolls up his sleeves.
“I’ve always done a mean sandwich. Your dad used to barter for them when we had lunch together at the mill.”
“Really? I didn’t know,” Milo says.
“Let me tell you a few more things about your dad. Not many people knew him like I did.”
I leave the kitchen silently so as not to disturb their conversation. I have a feeling that after this, Tyler won’t need anyone to convince Brian to come to the soup kitchen.
It takes almost two hours to remove all the compost and load it into the van someone managed to borrow from a friend.
With it all gone, the playground already looks like a completely different place.
