Page 74 of Malice and Surrender
“Well, we’ll remind you that you’re stronger for going through the pain rather than avoiding it.”
I’d certainly gone through the pain last night. It was sad, or maybe pathetic, but I knew I would never get Kai out of my head. The feel of his rough touch and his glowing eyes were forever tattooed on my brain. How do I get over the boy I loved and lost and now the man that I realized a part of me still loved?
The heart was one map I couldn’t figure out, but I wished I could. I really wished that I could.
Kaivan
I pulled into the gas station beside Roach and wanted to kill him more than usual. The rumble of my bike cut off, and I fought the urge to grab my head as more of the little men with ice picks went to town on my brain. There was a reason I didn’t drink too much, and today was a good fucking reminder.
After Raine left, I watched her pathetically from the window as she walked down the street. Then I ran to the bathroom and threw up all the burritos and coffee like my stomach was trying to turn itself inside out. I probably had alcohol poisoning, but you wouldn’t see me in a hospital unless I was heavily sedated and dragged there.
“I think I may kill you,” I mumbled, dismounting my bike.
“Why?” Roach asked, leaning on his bike with a big old smile.
“You said that you had important business and that I needed to help you with. You call this your urgent business?” I stuck my thumb out in the direction of the front door.
“Naw, man. This is just a pit stop. I need smokes, fuel, and snacks.” Roach took off before I could decide if it was worth the pain in my head to tackle him to the ground.
Grumbling under my breath, I followed behind Roach. We reached the doors just as they opened, and two girls walked out. They stopped and smiled as they giggled. The logo splashed across their crop-top sweatshirts proudly announced they went to the university. They were nowhere near campus, the dorms, or the beach, which meant they were in this shit part of the city looking for trouble—drugs, sex, maybe both.
Any other time, I would tap that. Ride them hard and fast and boot them out the door just as quickly, but at the moment, no part of me wanted anything to do with them.
“Hi,” the girl with dark hair said.
Roach opened his mouth to answer, and I cut in. Grabbing the door, I leaned in close to the girls. “I’d fucking break you,” I growled low enough that only they could hear. The smiles slipped from their faces. “And if you were lucky, I’d bury your bodies deep enough that the animals didn’t dig you back up.” Standing up straight, I glared down at them through my dark glasses. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Removing my arm, the girls dashed away, and Roach glared at me. “What the fuck? I could’ve had some fun. Why are you such a dick?”
“We are supposed to be on a super important mission. I was just doing you a favor.” I smirked. “Wouldn’t want you to get distracted or anything. Besides, what if they are Lane’s friends and tell her you fucked them?”
“Once upon a time, I thought we were friends. Fucker,” Roach mumbled under his breath as he stomped into the store ahead of me. “I need to take a piss.”
Wandering the store portion, I was very aware of the guy at the counter staring at me like I was gonna run at him with a gun. Not that I blamed him. That had happened more than once in this area. Yanking open the fridge, I grabbed a large container of chocolate milk and the biggest energy drink I could find. It wasn’t exactly the healthiest hangover drink, but it fucking worked.
The bell on the door chimed as I was staring at the chips, and I froze when I heard a familiar voice.
“Well, fuck me. Is that you, Kaivan?” Turning my head, I stared into the piggish eyes of Dave Collins. “As I live and fucking breathe. I thought you were dead or rotted away in prison,” he said, smiling. Another guy walked around the corner with him, and neither of the men looked to be having the best of days.
I gave Dave the once over and took in the man who used to be my foster father. He looked like he’d just crawled out of a dumpster. His shirt was stained and untucked over his beer belly. He was wearing grey sweatpants that he should never have wiggled his ass into and had on running shoes that were on their last go around. He was sporting a beard now but was bald except for a thin ring of hair.
“I’d say it was good to see you again, but I’d be lying,” I drawled. “You look like you’ve seen better days yourself. Did the old bitch finally toss your useless ass out on the street?”
His eyes narrowed into thin slits, adding to the pig look he had going on.
“Still have that smart mouth on you. That didn’t get solved while you were locked up,” Dave said. He stepped closer, and I smelled the alcohol wafting off his body like a bad cologne.
“Naw, it didn’t. No thanks to you or Irene. I really appreciated all the support the two of you showed me by not showing up for…well, anything.”
Dave took another step, the fake-ass smile completely slipping from his face.
“Dave, don’t do it,” Dave’s buddy said.
“I’d listen to your friend Dave. He gives sound advice.” I looked at my nails, flashing the fist full of rings that would knock his ass out if he tried anything.
“You got what you deserved—manipulating my wife and raping poor sweet Raine the way you did. You should’ve gotten life,” he growled. “And you better watch out, or I’ll send you back there,” he threatened.
“Oh really? And on what charge would you have me go to prison for this time?” I asked as Roach reappeared from the bathroom. He gave me a look over the top of the two guys, and I gave him a subtle nod that I was okay.
