Page 68 of Malice and Surrender
I would never tell the guy this, but I’d always appreciated Roach’s friendship. He could be as annoying as the bug he was nicknamed after, but I always knew he had my back, and in this world, that went a long way. He helped me sit, and I realized it was my living room couch. I had no memory of making it home and hated that sensation. I’d lost control of so many things in my life that I refused to put myself in a position where I had to rely on others. I did that last night—just another thing I could blame on Raine.
“Here,” Roach said and held out a bag and coffee. I peered into the greasy bag, and my stomach rolled as if telling me to go fuck myself. “Eat one. You need something to sop up the shit in your stomach.”
Even though I didn’t want to, I pulled one of the breakfast burritos out of the bag and slowly unwrapped it. I stared at it, and it stared back. I think we were officially in a standoff.
“All right, spill.” Roach flopped down on my powder blue recliner. He looked ridiculous, and I wondered if I looked just as strange when I sat there. As if reading my mind, Roach stared down at the chair. “Huh, surprisingly comfortable.”
“You want to analyze anything else while you’re in here? How about the position of the television, perhaps?” I took a bite of the burrito and swallowed, and when it didn’t hit an immediate ejection button, I kept eating.
“Nope. All I want to know is why you’ve been an asshole for days. What, or should I say, who has got you acting like an asshole dipped in something sour and rolled in shit? You’ve been practically hostile, so I’m not leaving until you talk.” He crossed his arms, and I wanted to punch his annoying face.
“I’m fine,” I said. Stubbornly, I tried to push myself to my feet, but that wasn’t happening. The room spun, and the band began to play in my brain again.
“Oh yeah, you look real fine.” Roach leaned forward and hit me with a hard stare. “Talk, or I’m going to sing the Barney song at the top of my lungs, over and over.” His lips curled up.
“That is the stupidest and most horrifying threat I’ve ever heard,” I said, and we both smirked.
The coffee was from the shop I liked. I popped the lid off and took a huge gulp before meeting Roach’s gaze.
“You’re not going to leave, are you?”
“Not a fucking chance. I’ve given you space to deal with your shit, but instead of getting over whatever crawled up your ass, you’re getting worse.” He dug around in his pocket and pulled out his phone. I heard my voice and cringed before I took the phone from his hands. I watched myself standing on a bar waving a gun and singing a song I didn’t even know I knew.
Hitting stop, then delete, I tossed the phone back.
“Asshole, don’t fuck with my video. I’m pulling that out of the trash. It’s my blackmail.” Roach smiled and spun the phone in his fingers. “Now talk.”
“You remember how I ended up in prison?” Roach lifted a brow and stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. “Okay, fine, you remember. The point is, I found her.”
“Damn, no way.” A smile broke out on Roach’s face as he leaned forward. “Where’s the bitch’s body, and do I need to cover anything up?”
A flare of anger ignited in my chest. “Don’t fucking call her that.” I knew it was a mistake to say anything as soon as the words were out of my mouth.
Roach smacked a hand off his knee and began to laugh. “You still like her!” He laughed as I glared. His face sobered. “Oh shit, you really do,” he said, his voice losing all the humor. “Fuck, I was only joking. How the hell is that possible?” he yelled.
His annoyingly loud enthusiasm was splitting my head in two.
“Shh, man. Fuck.” I groaned and rubbed at my forehead.
“All right, tell me everything. I need to know how you can still like her after everything.”
“I’m not your personal soap opera,” I said. “Fine, whatever,” I grumbled when he just stared. “She didn’t send me to prison out of spite. She actually thought it was me.”
Roach screwed up his face. “But I thought you didn’t do it?”
“I didn’t.”
“Okay, then why the hell would she pick you, of all people? I mean, weren’t the two of you friends or some shit?”
I sighed as I thought over what all Raine had told me. If I hadn’t been so furious, I might have asked a couple more questions, but last night I needed to get as far away from her as possible. I yanked another breakfast burrito out of the bag and tore into it.
“She went down to the fights where I was supposed to be—don’t ask me why, but I wasn’t there. I was too banged up to go but didn’t want to be around the house. Anyway, she was attacked by three men, and one of them had the same tattoo as this.” I held up my hand and pointed to it.
“That still doesn’t make sense. How did she not see his face? Are you sure she’s telling you the truth and not something to keep you from hurting her?”
“Too late for that. I messed her up and may have done what I was in jail for,” I said. My cock twitched at the thought of being inside her. Feeling her come all over me. The smell of her skin.
Fuck! Enough of that.
