Page 48 of Malice and Surrender
As the story goes, Mathers senior handed the club’s reins to Chase. Chase’s brother got pissed and killed his family, but instead of exacting revenge and taking down the Reapers then, he pretended to be dead and hid for ten years while Beast and Mannix tried to hold the club together from constant attacks. In the meantime, Chase didn’t care that his members were killed by his brother and only came out of hiding when he needed us—some leader.
“Lastly, but certainly not least, is me.” I placed my hands on my chest, knowing that I was being a dramatic asshole. “All those fuckers out there know that if my bell is rung to go and kill them, they better be prepared, or it will be their souls that are lost.” I gripped the chair. “So go ahead and kick me out. What the fuck do I care at this point? But don’t expect me to cry or be held responsible for other clubs spitting on our sign and pissing on your corpses when they come knocking.”
I looked around the room.
“Orrrr, you could shut the fuck up about Chase and his lack of accomplishments and tell us when they’ll be back. That’s really all we give a fuck about. They may not be asshole enough to say it, but we’re all wondering. How long do we need to try and keep this place safe from the hundreds of men who want it?”
Beast looked like he was gearing up to charge across the room and toss me out, and I was almost hoping he would. I wasn’t just angry at Raine. I realized that I was angry at the world. I was so fucking pissed off with the hand that I’d been dealt and the never-ending run on a treadmill that pointed up.
Was it really too much to ask to have a couple of things go right in this life? Or was it set in stone the day we were born that some people would get it all while the rest of us poor saps got the scraps? I was already neck-deep in the shit that had been sent my way, and if any more was added, I might as well let myself drown because I was sick of treading this disgusting water.
Mannix stood from his seat but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He was silently telling Beast to back off and me to calm down. He showed no sign of aggression, and I knew he wouldn’t. Mannix was the eye of the storm.
From where I stood, I could tell Beast was grinding his teeth as the muscles strained in his neck with the effort of holding himself back.
“Fine, they’re running behind, and I don’t know,” Beast said.
I sneered and shook my head in disgust. “So I have to ask, does Mathers actually plan on coming back, or is he searching for another hole to rot in and expects us to do his work for him?” I shrugged. “I mean, it’s a fair question. He’s up in the fucking Great White North, doing what? We don’t know, and now what? Are they planning on taking a scenic tour on the way back? Maybe stop in Frontenac and get a steamy as they lick their wounds.”
Beast’s eyes narrowed as he squared his shoulders. “You have no idea what it’s like to go through what he’s had to. We all process loss differently, and you need to give him a break and show some respect.”
A snort left my mouth. Sighing, I pulled the smoke from my mouth and butted it on the bottom of my boot.
“Beast, we all have our crosses to bear. Do you think Mathers and I should sit down and compare notes? Maybe sip some tea and talk about how we overcame the pain of our woes, scars, and evil deeds?” I asked, my voice laced with sarcasm. I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Not going to fucking happen. Yeah, his family died horribly, and it sucks. I get that. But who in here hasn’t lost someone they love? Or have no family at all? Or had their entire fucking lives destroyed for no good reason? Fuck, the whole reason your old lady is dead is that Chase couldn’t kill his brother, or am I wrong about that too?”
Beast’s face morphed from anger to pain, and I knew that the blow of my words was low and hitting hard with the loss of Jaz. It was a jerk thing to say, but I was sick of the rose-colored glasses routine. I'd liked Jaz. She’d treated me decent and hadn’t deserved to die, and she wouldn’t have if Chase had done his job. Just another soul lost in his wake.
“The point I’m trying to make is that you’re still here working, I’m still here working, everyone is still here working but…Chase Mathers is the one person who is supposed to be making the decisions and taking care of the duties of this place. But no, it’s more important to help his ‘blood’ family. Shows how much he gives a fuck about us. How many years have you given up to cover his ass?” I growled. “I won’t do it, and I won’t follow him blindly. If he doesn’t come back soon and prove to be a worthwhile leader, you won’t have to worry about kicking me out, Beast, ‘cause I’ll already be gone.”
“Are you suggesting we get rid of our leader?” Beast asked.
Pushing away from the chair, all the guys looked at the floor like I’d just beaten them all with a stick, and I shook my head.
“No. I would have no problem with the guy if he did his job and looked out for us the same way we’ve been covering his ass. That’s really not too much to ask. It shocks me every day that out of all of us, you, who had to take over and man up to run this club, is still the one who paints him as a fucking messiah.” I tossed my hands up when no one said anything. “I’m done. You want to kick me out for being the only one brave enough to speak up, then go for it, but I have important things on my list, and I’m going to go take care of them.”
I marched for the door and flung it open, leaving it that way in my wake. If they all wanted to show undying loyalty to Chase, then they could. I was more of the show me with actions to prove it type because words were fucking cheap, and so far, all I’d seen was a bunch of lip service.
“Snake,” Mannix’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
I slowly turned around to see him coming out the door and closing it behind him. Internally groaning, I remained where I was until he reached me.
“Follow me,” Mannix said, and I followed along the hall to the far end, away from the church door. “Look, I know you have many very valid reasons as to why you’re angry with Chase,” he said.
“If you’re going to tell me that I need to show him respect…”
Mannix shook his head. “No, I won’t say that. In fact, I think you’re right, and Chase would tell you that same thing. He doesn’t deny fucking up and knows he needs to make amends.”
“Then why isn’t he here?” I countered. “Why is he in another country fighting for an MC that has nothing to do with us?”
“It’s complicated. The thing is, you’re not wrong with anything you said in there, but I’m going to ask you to tone it down. The aggression, although justified, isn’t helping, and it has nothing to do with Chase’s ego. We can’t afford to lose anyone else. We already had one member pack their shit and leave in the night. The club can’t sustain any more losses, and as angry as you are right now, I know you don’t want to see this place fall apart.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “Fine, that’s a fair point. Do you need me to kill whoever left?”
Mannix laughed. His mouth turned into a lopsided smile. “Best enforcer ever. No, it’s all good. I made sure he won’t cross us.”
“So, is that it?”
