Page 141 of Malice and Surrender
I placed my hand over the beating organ. “I love you, Raine,” I whispered as the gunfire dwindled and stopped.
“Fuck, they’re retreating. Bunch of fucking dicks. I was having fun,” Tanner said and ran out of the room.
“Let me help you get upstairs,” Roach offered when everyone was gone.
“Naw, I need a moment alone.” He nodded, turned, and disappeared down the hall.
Emotions locked up tight were set loose, and I covered my face and let a tear fall. I almost died the same way my mother had. Choking on blood with no one to help, and all I could think about was that I would never see Raine again.
The next breath I sucked into my lungs had never felt so sweet.
Jace
I sat in the back of the limo, watching Raine as she slept. She was out cold, curled on her side, her hood pulled up, and her head on her backpack. One of the blankets I kept in here covered her body. She looked adorable.
That was a word I never thought I’d use for a woman I was getting involved with, but it was the only word that came to mind. Unable to keep to myself anymore, I crouched low and moved to the other seat sitting down by her head. It was second nature to be sweet with Avro after so many years together, but I fumbled for what to do and settled on placing my hand on her side.
Raine lifted her head and looked at me. That tug in my chest pulled me closer. She was dangerous to my heart. I hated feeling unsure about moving forward with this relationship. I was falling for Raine, and Avro was all in, but…there was Kai or Snake or whatever other name he wanted to be called. The fact that I felt it necessary to take a Taser to that motel said it all, yet here I was, staring into her eyes and allowing myself to be dragged into this relationship much faster than I wanted.
“Can you hold me? I’m cold,” she said sleepily.
“Sure, come sit in my lap,” I offered. The thought of her sitting in my lap and having her all to myself was fucking enticing. As Raine sat up, I slid to the center of the seat and smirked as she crawled into my lap like a cat before sitting down and cuddling into my chest.
Fuck all that shit about it not being right to want to protect your girl. There was nothing that felt as good as this. Raine needed me, and it wasn’t for something fancy or expensive or because I was Jace Everly. I was desired on a primal level that until you had it, you couldn’t explain it, but we all craved it. Every person out there wanted to be needed like this. To feel vital to someone’s existence.
I spent too much time warding myself against those who wanted to use me for something. It came with the territory, and some of it I genuinely didn’t mind. Like helping a new and talented musician get started. But there was a lot of bad that came with the good. Those who just wanted my money or to be seen with me to enhance their careers. It made it tough to know who was legit and who wasn’t.
Grabbing the edges of my jacket, I wrapped the bomber around her body and linked my fingers together. She sighed and wiggled closer, pressing right on my cock.
“Jace?”
“Yeah Peaches.”
“Are you angry with me for wanting Kai to be part of us,” she asked, and my immediate response was fuck yes. But that wasn’t the whole truth.
I sighed, settling deeper into the seat, wishing I could see her face. “No, I’m not angry. I’m scared for all of us, and when I’m scared, I’m an even larger ornery asshole than normal.” She chuckled, her body vibrating. I bit my lip to keep myself in check as her ass rubbed against me. “The problem is Peaches that you see who you want Kai to be, which is the person you knew. I see who he’s become. I see him as clearly as I understand myself, and the dangerous edge is never far from the surface. He would snap my neck if given the opportunity, and right now, the only thing keeping him from doing that is the fear of losing you.”
Raine turned her head, and for just a moment, I considered having the driver take us to the private jet and forcing her to get on. It was irrational, I didn’t really want to kidnap her, but old fears that I’d managed to tame over the years were gripping me by the throat.
“You may be right for now, but Kai is as loyal as they come. If you two find common ground, it won’t just be me that holds things together.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I need to be careful, Peaches. I’m always in the spotlight. If I’m found hanging around with an MC member who is most likely a killer, it will make headlines worldwide, career-ending headlines. That doesn’t just put me at risk. That puts all of us, including Kai, at risk. He will never be able to go anywhere without people filming him, and forget wiping his record if they start digging into what he’s been doing for the club since he got out….”
“Oh shit,” she said, sitting a little straighter in my arms. “I hadn’t even thought about that. I mean, I knew you were always being watched, but it didn’t dawn on me the implications with Kai.” She paused, and her brow furrowed. “Do you really think he’s killed people?”
“More than one, and I’m not saying that to scare you. I’m simply stating a fact. He's an enforcer. That’s what they do. They ensure other groups don’t want to mess with their club and teach a lesson to those that have. Besides, he has a look in his eye that tells me he’s far more comfortable with death than most people.”
Raine pulled down the hood on her sweatshirt and stared at me. “How would you know that?”
I swallowed and looked away from her. “Killing someone changes you. I mean, those in the military will tell you that, and police officers as well. He has that closed-off dead look,” I said, covering up the real reason. I wasn’t sure I was ready to share that particular secret with anyone. Some secrets were better left in the past and never spoken about again.
Raine looked around the car and then back up at me. “Why are you being so understanding and nice? Are we being recorded or something?”
I laughed and gripped her face with one hand, squeezing her cheeks enough that her lips puckered. “Do you like me being the asshole, Peaches?” She swallowed, the sound loud in the quiet car. “You want me to bring up that overnight you’ve turned into a cock slut?”
Raine’s face flamed bright red, and she narrowed her eyes at me. “Nowhere to run off to in here,” I said as she shifted like she was going to move away. I nipped at her bottom lip, which was begging to be kissed. “I’m always the asshole,” I whispered in her ear. Raine rolled her eyes at me, making me smile, but I felt the slight wiggle of her ass on my cock.
“Tell me, Jace. Is this the real you, or is the sweet guy that wanted to keep me warm the real you?”
