Page 127 of Malice and Surrender
“Yes, I always have. Not a day has gone by that I have stopped loving you,” she said as her nails softly scraped along my neck, making me shiver. “And I will always love you. No matter what you decide, a piece of my heart will always be yours. No matter what has transpired between us, I would never change that.”
“And this is the only way?” I licked my lips as she raised up on her toes and laid a soft kiss on the side of my mouth.
She nodded, and as her body pressed into mine, she could’ve asked me to do anything, and I would’ve agreed.
“Fuck me,” I growled and dropped my head to her neck, breathing in her scent. She smelt sweet, like flowers and candy. I wanted to devour her. I opened my mouth again and knew that I’d at least try. If that meant I needed to do this, then that was what I’d do. Her leaving and never seeing her again wasn’t an option.
Because fuck me, Raine was mine, and I needed her like I needed the fucking air to breathe.
Raine
“Fine, I’ll fucking try, but I can’t make any promises that this is going to work.” Kai’s voice was hoarse and gravelly, like he’d drunk an entire bottle of whiskey and swallowed a sandpaper chaser.
I could taste the remnants of a cigarette and spearmint as he gave in and dropped his head to kiss me. I had no idea what I was thinking. Kai keeping his shit together and not killing Avro and Jace was laughable in my own head. But him not getting me at all was the only card I had if I wanted to have the life I hoped to build. If I didn’t lay down my terms before I gave over my heart and let him have my body, the battle would be lost.
Kai said he loved me, and I was his, but I wasn’t sure Kai knew how to love. Maybe at one time, but now…I wasn’t so sure. We were so volatile that it felt like the earth beneath our feet could shift and swallow us whole. It was exciting, but it could also end with all of us dragged under.
Even if Kai held it together, it still might all blow up in my face. Avro would agree, but Jace accepting this was almost as laughable as Kai. I was walking a tightrope with no safety net, and each step made me feel less sure about my decisions. All I knew was that I wouldn’t be forced to choose one over the other, not by Jace or Kai.
“Fuck,” Kai swore against my lips, allowing me a moment to catch my breath.
I thought Jace’s kisses were demanding, but I wasn’t prepared for the ravenous and overwhelming kiss from Kai. He broke contact only long enough to peel off his leather jacket and toss it on the chair in the corner before he attacked my mouth again. His hands gripped my ass tighter, pulling me hard into him as he bowed my body back with his ferocity. Heat bloomed like my body was being licked by flames as it spread like wildfire.
“Fuck Tink, what are you doing to me,” Kai asked, leaving me lightheaded and with swollen lips. He released his hold, his fingertips trailing gently over my skin, and everywhere he touched, goosebumps rose. My eyes fluttered open, and I couldn’t look away from his blue eyes, so intense that they stole the air from my chest.
I gasped in a breath, my heart racing as hard as it ever had as he ran his thumb over the marks he’d made on my neck. They were fading now, but traces of his fingerprints were still visible without makeup. I didn’t move as he stared at the imprints. His face was dark and so unreadable that he could’ve been thinking about fucking me hard or questioning why he hadn’t already killed me.
“I was planning on killing you, you know,” he said, and I shivered, my feet instinctively taking a step back, but his hands locked onto my shoulders, and I was once more trapped. “I meant that night. I’d dreamed about it for so long, but I couldn’t.”
His voice sounded wistful, like he craved to go back in time and finish what he had started. I swallowed the massive lump in my throat as my pulse pounded harder through my veins.
“Do you regret not killing me,” I asked, and his eyes snapped from my neck to my eyes.
“No.” Nothing sweet followed the single word, yet it held as much weight as if he’d gotten down and begged my forgiveness. “Stand on the bed,” Kai ordered.
I shivered from the chill as I stepped away from the warmth of his body. Doing as he asked, I turned to face him just as he laid his cut down on the dresser. Unlike the jacket, he placed it as carefully as one would a child. I didn’t know why his doing that touched me, but it did, and I felt tears prick the back of my eyes.
Under the gruff ‘I don’t care’ exterior was the teen I knew, who wanted a family and to be accepted. It didn’t surprise me that Kai had ended up in an MC. The little I knew of clubs was that even when at odds, they had one another’s backs, and deep down, I knew that was something he always craved.
I was that person for him at one time, the person he could turn to and trust, and I destroyed that. I glanced at the club's name on the cut and then at Kai as he pulled his T-shirt off over his head.
“The name is fitting,” I said. “We are definitely lost souls.”
“Were,” Kai said and kicked off his boots. He stomped toward me. Anyone else would think he was angry, but it was the desire in his eyes that drove him, not anger. Everything he did was with purpose and demand. “We were lost, but not anymore.”
My lip curled up. “Speak for yourself. I don’t know if I will ever be found,” I said, letting him in on the fear that always gripped my heart.
His features darkened, and I sucked in a startled breath as he grabbed my waist and pulled me in close to him. “You are now. I see you, Tink. I’ve always seen you.”
I stared into his eyes, tears threatening to spill once more, shuddering as his tongue flicked out and traced the first of six thin white scars. By the time he’d traced them all—never taking his eyes from mine—I was a mess and could barely see him through the blurriness.
“I will kill them for what they did to you. For what they did to us.” His hands tightened on my waist. “That’s a promise.”
I knew he would and should be terrified, but I felt safer at that moment than I had at any time in my life. Unable to form words, I simply nodded.
Kai nipped at the lacey material of my underwear, and the feel of his teeth made me whimper in his hold. Drawing a line with his tongue down, he stopped on my clit, swirling and sucking until the material molded to my skin, making me moan.
“Fuck I want to devour you,” Kai said, and my head fell back as he attacked my pussy with the same voraciousness as he had my mouth.
