Page 126 of Malice and Surrender
“Avro, yes, but Jace is still new to me. They have been together along time so Jace is part of the package with Avro.”
I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around this disaster. “So, you’re in love with Avro, but not Jace, but Jace and Avro are together, so to have Avro, you need to fuck Jace?”
Raine’s eyes turned murderous again as she glared at me from across the room. “Don’t be an asshole Kai. You’re the one that chased me down. You’re the one standing in my motel room, and you’re the one that just asked me what I want. You don’t see me standing at your door, do you?”
I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms. “Fine, just explain to me why it is that I can’t have you, Avro have Jace, and we go our merry fucking separate ways?”
“Because what I wanted for my life before you stormed back in and started pounding your chest was vastly different than becoming your leather-wearing, bike-riding side hustle.”
“Fuck Raine! I don’t want anyone else. I don’t ever want to fuck anyone else again.” I yelled, my body shaking as I tried to contain the rage that wanted blood. “You’ve been tattooed on my heart from the day we met.” The admission had me sucking in a deep breath. She was the only good thing I’d ever had. Even when shit went sideways, it was still her face I dreamed about. It had always been her.
I ran my hand through my hair. “Now you’re asking me to be okay with you sleeping with other guys, while we’re together? I’ve never been okay with other guys around you. Fuck you must remember that. Tink, you’re it for me.”
She looked down at her boots, her arms crossed. The minutes ticked on, and I glanced at the clock. Sweat broke out on my brow when the number clicked over to exactly five minutes. It was the only thing moving in the room.
“I can’t explain this any better to you, Kai,” she finally said, her voice a whisper, yet I heard every word. “I have actively tried to push you from my mind and heart since the night I was attacked.” Her eyes slowly lifted, and I knew she wouldn’t give in. I felt the anger and panic building.
The one person, the one thing I wanted more than anything else in this world, was her. A family with her, and I couldn’t find a way to make her see that we belonged together. I couldn’t force her emotions away, couldn’t buy them away, and couldn’t scare them away. Raine would rather accept being alone or dead. I saw it behind the shimmering blue of her eyes. My heart pounded frantically, trying to figure out how to make this work and make her see things my way.
I’d always been able to sway Raine, always had the power to make her smile and talk her into whatever I wanted. I slumped against the wall as her words sank into the deep recesses of my brain. I wasn’t the boy she swooned over anymore, who she dreamed of and would sneak into his room. I was who she saw when she was attacked, the embodiment of her worst nightmare.
I was the creature that lived under the bed, that made her run screaming or die trying. My body shook with the harsh reality of what Irene, Dave, and his friends had cost us. They stole my happy ending. Our happy ending.
“Kai, this is only going to work one of two ways. You can leave, and I will continue on my way, and none of you get me. Because I know you couldn’t handle seeing me around town or know where I’m living with them without you having another meltdown like last night. I won’t put them or myself at risk or even risk the possibility of you going back to jail.”
“And the second option?”
“You can concede that I want Avro in my life, and with that comes Jace. This is your choice, but there is no third option. The one thing I’m not doing, is going half-measure on what I want. You asked. There is your answer.”
“And I assume killing them is off the table?” I snickered as Raine gave me her best ‘Are you fucking stupid look.’ It was the same look she gave me when we were kids, and I’d say something to get under her skin. It made me smile.
“I don’t know if I can do that and not kill them.” I lifted my hands and let them drop. “I’m being honest. I don’t want anyone else, so being faithful to you isn’t the issue.” I left out that I’d tried to get a blowjob, but my dick had been annoyingly uncooperative since I found her. “But adding two guys...Tink, you’re like the blood in my veins. Sharing that, sharing you is….” I held my hands out as I thought of the right word.
“The reality is, Kai, that my heart shattered into a million little pieces the day those men took my innocence. I’ve spent the rest of my time slowly gluing the little shards back together. It finally started to beat again, but I’m changed,” she said, her voice firm in her conviction.
Raine gripped the bottom of the hoodie she was wearing, and my throat stopped functioning as she peeled it off, leaving her in a black lace bra. “I’m no longer that innocent teen. I’m a woman exploring what I want and who I want, and I want it all. Please don’t try to deny me that or control my heart with an iron fist and fear.”
She tossed the sweatshirt aside, and my eyes roamed over her body. The bruises I’d left were green and yellow, and I hated seeing them. It was a visual confirmation that I’d tried to kill her and almost succeeded. That I had done what she feared the most. I really was the monster.
“Am I not worth trying for,” Raine asked, her voice soft and silky. The sound made me shudder. She bent over and pulled the laces on her shitkickers, kicking them off along with her socks. Her toenails were painted black with one pink one, which made me smile—a tiny bit of the girl she had been wrapped up in this badass woman.
My cock strained under my pants as she bit her lip. I groaned as her hands unbuttoned the top of her jeans, and I heard each link of the zipper as she pulled it down.
“Am I not worth the effort?” Her voice sounded somehow both sad and alluring. “For us to still find a happy ending to the pain we were put through?”
“You’re not playing fair,” I said as her hands worked at pushing down the tight denim, her hips wiggling from side to side and making me groan as she stepped out of them. She was left in a mismatched set of lacey underwear, and I smirked at the look. The black bra and pink bottoms just did something to me. I was practically panting like a dog by the time she was within arms reach. All my muscles strained to remain still.
“Fuck me, Tink. It has nothing to do with your worth, I…I’m just not great at sharing anything, and you are the most prized piece of my heart. To share that….” Her cheeks pinked with a blush, but she didn’t retract her request.
Her delicate hand reached out, and I watched it, knowing that she would seal my fate like her touch was magical, and yet I couldn’t move away. I closed my eyes as her hand made contact with my chest and slid up to wrap around my neck. Her other devious hand slipped under the leather jacket and gripped my shoulder. I could feel the pulse pounding in my neck as I tried to draw a deep breath.
“You can have me, Kai,” she whispered like a siren, and I shuddered. “You can have me whenever you want. However, you want.” She stepped in close until her body was brushing against mine. Even through the T-shirt, I could feel the warmth of her body and wanted to blanket myself with her touch. “I’ll try whatever you want and wherever you want. You want to put me on display, if you want to fuck me on your bike, then I’ll do it, but Avro and Jace are my only condition. I’m worth the effort, or I’m not.”
I stared down into her blue eyes that had always drawn me in like a whirlpool and threatened to whisk me away right now. She had power over me. Something I couldn’t understand and never explained to anyone, but it had always been there. If she wanted the stars plucked from the sky, I would’ve found a way to make them hers. If she wanted me to kill someone, I wouldn’t stop to ask why. She was my it, my forever, my all.
My hands had a mind of their own, and I sighed as I gripped her waist, finally touching her soft skin. She took that as a sign and pressed her body up tight against mine, and whatever brain power I had left to argue flew out of my head. Slipping my fingers under the lace, I gripped her ass, and a deep growl rumbled from my chest as her muscles flexed under my touch.
“You still love me,” I asked.
