Page 1 of Sext Me, Baby

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ONE

Hotline:

Welcome to Sext4Fun.

What’s your fancy? ?? or ??

Sara:

??

Hotline:

Great choice! Our ?????? are extra firm tonight.

Please hold while we connect you…

I snort-laughand take a drink from my fourth glass of wine. It’s been a long week and Imayhave indulged a little too much to compensate, which led to me texting this service for shits-n-giggles after seeing one of their cheesy late-night commercials.

Operator 69:

Hello there. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?

Sara:

Seriously? 69? ?? How many of you Operator 69s are there?

Operator 69:

Just me. We all have a number, but I’m the lucky one with the cliché ID. ??

I’m Ian. What’s your name, gorgeous?

Sara:

You don’t know that I’m gorgeous.

Maybe I’m hideous. A total hag.

Operator 69:

I very much doubt that. Describe yourself and I’ll prove it you…

Sorry, you still haven’t given me your name.

Sara:

It’s Sara

Operator 69:

That’s a very pretty name. Describe yourself to me, Sara.

Sara:

5’7”, longish blonde hair, brown eyes. Pretty average all around, I’m afraid.

Operator 69:

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