Page 49 of The Spare
“Why aren’t you and Xander together?” I asked.
The words came out before I could even think to stop them. I wanted to pursue her, obviously. And I had spent the last week thinking of all the ways to get around the reasons I shouldn’t. The only one I hadn’t found a workaround for was Xander. Every time it popped into my mind, I pushed it back. If there was even a chance, they could—
When I realized just how deep the feelings were, I knew I needed to ask Xander about it, but I wasn’t sure I’d want to hear the answer. If it was the one I feared, that would slam the door shut on the fantasy. For a while, I wanted to live in it.
She gave me a stern look. “You know why. We’re friends.”
“You need a distraction. Plus, you’ll be too annoyed with the question's premise to remember you’re anxious.”
I didn’t want to know. But fuck, I had to know.
She chewed the side of her lip, deep in thought. She knew precisely why I asked the question.
“Okay.” She sat up, crossed her legs, and tucked them beneath her. My hand felt an emptiness when she pulled hers back to tuck her hair back behind her ear. “We tried…once.”
My heart sank into my stomach. I motioned for the attendant to bring me a glass of whiskey, expecting I’d need it by the time this story was over.
“After law school, the guys, CeCe, and I went to Paris over the summer. We were at a vineyard for a wine tasting and everyone had to pair off. Xander and I paired off, and the staff assumed we were together. We played along, no big deal. There was this old couple asking us questions about our relationship. We made things up. They refused to believe we were together, no matter what we did or said. They said we didn’t have any chemistry.”
Suddenly, I felt much better. She smiled widely and had a happy faraway look in her eye. She looked out the window and then back at me. The story wasn’t over.
She continued. “That night, we got all kinds of drunk, determined to prove them wrong. We’d been getting questions about our relationship for so long that we thought we would see what happened. We tried for probably an hour to kiss each other. It was awful. Keep in mind, the goal was to have sex.”
I physically flinched at the words and took a large sip of the whiskey, hoping it would wash the bitter jealousy from my mouth. She giggled, ignoring the mental turmoil I was going through as I sat through the story.
“Don’t worry, it gets better.” A knowing smile swept across her face. “We got as far as a prolonged, very awkward peck on the lips. Anyway, we bagged the idea. We arenotattracted to each other.And that is why we aren’t together. And will never be.” She took a large sip of wine and put the glass down. “You were right, that helped.”
I tried not to let the relief look too obvious. All the bumps had leveled out; the plane was flying smoothly.
“See?” That was all I managed to spit out with every word in my vernacular tangled in my chest. Thankfully, the story was over and had a better ending than I expected. “Feel better?”
“Yeah, I do.” She paused. “And you took it like a champ.” She bared her teeth in a teasing grin. “The story, I mean, even the parts where you looked like you were going to pass out.” She leaned over to give my leg a patronizing pat.
Sloan slept for the remainder of the flight; she was cute when she slept too. Despite having to sit through that story, it gave me the answer I'd wanted for so long.
I spent a lifetime giving Xander whatever he needed without a second thought.
My childhood room, my bike, half my company.
I never cared. He was my baby brother; it was my job. I wanted him to have everything he needed to be happy, whatever happiness meant for him. For a time, I thought that meant Sloan. Thankfully, it didn’t.
She wasmyhappiness.
Mine.
CHAPTER25
Sloan
The cold London air must have done something to cool the blustering tension between Marcus and me because I hadn’t heard from him since the flight. It had only been a couple of days, but I didn’t expect to feel so dejected by the change. We occasionally texted about administrative things, scheduling, and other mundane tasks, but nothing social or remotely flirty.
Marcus liked a challenge. Once he accomplished something, he’d get bored and move on. He knew that as well as I did. That fact made me sure he’d never actually make a move in our risqué chess match. He never cared to be in a relationship, and while he didn’t seem to care about most people, I was on the short list of exceptions. He wouldn’t hurt me.
That knowledge provided little solace. He may be attracted to me, but that was all. And certainly not enough to implode our world. The only commitment I could get out of a Sutton would be an unbreakable friendship with Xander.
I blinked back to reality and addressed the partners at the London office during our first strategy meeting.
“We shouldn’t have any hold-ups, just a few banking-related regulations on the U.S. side,” I said. “I could use one of the associates in finance to get through the red tape.”
