Page 30 of The Spare
“Never really saw a point.” That was the truth. We’d suffered enough. “It was easier to stay away.”
Henry tried to get me to face it too. He brought them up yearly around the start of fall and at Christmastime. Every time we were remotely in the area, he suggested we come by.
His lips thinned, and he looked hurt. “Does that apply to me too?”
“I’m back for good after this next trip,” I assured him. “And cut me some slack. I’m trying.”
He fidgeted for a while and looked down at the floor. “Do you resent me for how I reacted?”
The fact that he needed to ask felt like a gut punch. He was my baby brother; I was there to protect him and tried my best at the time. After our parents died, it was my job to make sure he had what he needed to be happy. “No. Of course not, you were grieving.”
“Yeah. I was.” He didn’t look up and shifted uncomfortably. “Because of that, you never got to.”
I had tried to handle it stoically. I was twenty-five, and I learned as I went. I had to figure out how to settle an estate and execute last wishes.
An adult, but not a useful one. I had no idea how to do any of it, but someone had to step up. Xander lost all control for months. He went from despondent to unhinged at the drop of a hat. Someone needed to steer the ship and ensure their demise didn’t spell ours. I tried to keep Xander from dealing with anything other than getting through it. He was never good with change.
Once the immediate needs were met and Xander was mostly steady, I buried myself in work. It was easier. It was something I could control.
“I’m fine.” That was probably true.
The pain from their death was long buried. We’d all moved on, and things leveled out. That was until a couple of years ago. The unfamiliar feelings that bubbled up whenever I was around Sloan started to change things. It would stir up emotions I’d rather keep buried. I was figuring that part out.
Coming back here wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually kind of nice.
“Then why’d you just leave?”
I ran my hand down my jaw. “It didn’t have to do with this.”
“Then what?” Irritation crept into his voice. “And don’t say work.”
Itwaswork. Mostly. What else would I have been doing for so long?
I didn’t answer.
“Fine. But between me, Henry, and Sloan, someone will get it out of you.” He gave me a shove and went to the backyard. Whether or not it was for the best, I was back for good.
* * *
When I finally returned to my place, I looked at my phone and smiled at the name that flashed on the screen.
Sloan
I don’t know how you did it, but thank you for fixing my brother
Sloan
I owe you
Henry must have taken my advice. The fact that I helped make her happy pleased me more than I thought it would. I hadn’t expected how the text would lift my somber mood either.
We could be friends. Keeping away from her wasn’t a practical solution now that I was back. Besides, I enjoyed her company. I’d built Sutton Industries from the ground up; I could figure out how to be friends with Sloan.
Me
Lobotomies are surprisingly effective
Me
