Page 46 of Fae Unleashed
Fuck that. I kicked his shin and got nothing out of him.
“I know what you’re going to say!” Panic made the edges of my thoughts crackle like white noise that threatened to consume everything. “Don’t say it! Don’t even put the idea out there.”
“You should take the offer.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to entertain this thought. I couldn’t. There was no way that I would listen to Rhoan of all people tell me this. But he caught my arm before I could turn away and walk in-between.
“Hear me out,” he started. “You can take anyone as a lover. Fox said it himself. He’s not going to be upset. This arrangement will be good for our cause. Besides…”
Rhoan’s gaze dropped to the inky stretch of tattoo peeking out from beneath my shirt. I moved to cover it up and stopped myself. I had nothing to hide, right? This wasn’t a bad thing. The curse couldn’t change me, no matter what anyone else thought.
“If you fall for him, then he could break your curse,” Rhoan said.
My jaw dropped. I lifted two fingers. “First of all, who told you that? Second of all, in what universe would I fall in love with a man like that?”
He deserved another kick in the shin, but I wasn’t about to be a brat again. I was a princess, for fuck’s sake. It was time that I acted like one and put Rhoan back in his place.
“My heart is my own, and what I do with it is up to me and me alone. If you think you can get away with telling me who I should love, then you’ve mistaken your place in my life.” I wanted him closer to me. Pushing him away hurt more than I wanted to admit.
A knife slid through my heart. It threatened to rip me in half. I looked to Rhoan for any sign of regret or fear, but his expression remained unreadable. Tears burned my eyes. Could I pull him close and remind him that there was something here between us? Couldn’t he feel it when our bodies pressed together?
Apparently not. And I had to resign myself to that truth, even if it hurt worse than dying.
“You don’t trust me not to turn to evil,” I realized out loud. I lifted my hurt gaze to meet Rhoan’s.
This time, he flinched. He reached for me, but I stepped out of reach and shook my head.
“Cerri,” he warned. “You know—”
“That’s what this is about. You asked my friends how to break this curse, because even you can’t comprehend someone with Unseelie magic being benevolent and trustworthy.”
He huffed through his nose. Fists clenched at his sides, he stepped into my space. When he opened his mouth, it seemed like he had something heneededto say, only it caught in his throat.
I gripped the front of his shirt to keep him here. “What? What is it that you’re not telling me?”
He’d had something that he wanted to tell me back at the Seelie Castle, back when we’d been alone in the garden. Tal had interrupted us. We’d lost track of that conversation and never gone back.
I needed him to tell me right here and now. I wasn’t going to beg, but I was damn close to pleading—which was barely a step away from begging, in my opinion.
Rhoan cupped my cheek ever so gently. I melted into his touch. This sad fae warrior with his midnight-colored beast had me so head over heels that it wasn’t fair. I wanted to reach inside him and cradle his fragile heart. Was that it? Was he protecting what was left of his heart after losing his last court?
“You’re not going to lose me,” I whispered. “I refuse to die by anyone’s hands. Not Beryl’s. Not Faust’s. No one’s.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, eclipsing me in his shadow in the process. I breathed in the warmth between us and ran my hands up his chest.
“I’m afraid of losing you, you’re right. There are other ways to lose you, though. It’s for the best when I tell you to find yourself a king.”
My heart leapt excitedly because this was as close as he’d ever come to admitting his feelings. I wished I could have told him that I’d already found myself a king. He would become one when I placed the crown upon his head.
This was for the best. I needed to remember myself and my plans. This life wasn’t for me. I craved peace and solidarity after this. I wanted every day to be as predictable as the last, and if I gave my crown to Rhoan, that meant leaving here. I couldn’t stay and watch him reign if I wanted that kind of peace.
He would hate me for leaving, too. Though I wanted to pull Rhoan close and love him with all my heart, it would backfire.
So, I released him and stepped back. I sniffled, mourning what I couldn’t have. He’d yet to tell me his secret, but it likely didn’t matter in the end. If we kept this space between ourselves, then his secrets weren’t my business. All that mattered was that we could work together to reach the end of this fight.
My heart rebelled. It wanted to cling to him. A part of me held onto the dream where I could wake up beside him each and every morning.
“I can’t break your curse,” Rhoan said.
