Page 72 of Caught in Us
“What’s your favorite thing about living in London?”
She doesn’t answer. Her mouth opens, then shuts, her brow furrowing with her thoughts.
“Surely there must be something.” I aim for teasing, but anger pulses in my veins at the idea she isn’t happy. There better be a reason she’s been living in another country for three fucking years.
“I like the work I do at the university.” Her tone is measured. “I enjoy teaching more than I thought I would. The research too. What about you? Why’d you go back to firefighting?”
“I realized it wasn’t firefighting I hated. It was who I’d become.” The warmth of her body pressed to mine pulls a yawn from my mouth. It would be so easy to fall asleep, but I blink away the exhaustion. “What’s your biggest regret?”
“Besides avoiding you?” She sighs. “Not talking with my dad when I had the chance.”
It hits me. In the letter she left behind she mentioned he had a stroke. “I’m sorry. Did he pass?” I never got to ask. I was so consumed by the fact she left.
“He survived the stroke. It’s just . . . You know, I’d rather not talk about it. It bums me out.” Her body stiffens, her discomfort apparent. “What’s yours?”
“My biggest regret?” My answer comes quickly. I’ve given this years of thought. “Getting behind the wheel drunk with Maverick.” Those memories haunt me like a nightmare I can’t escape. “But then I wonder, if I took that night back where would I be?” My hand caresses her hip, her closeness offering me a comfort she probably doesn’t realize. “That horrible mistake forced me to evaluate my life. It brought us together, and we made a child. And I have to think about Tyler too—would he be alive? Would I have started the teen center here in Richmond? Maybe, but it’s unlikely. So, do I wish I could erase Maverick’s injuries and suffering? Absolutely. But that pain used me, and I turned it to a purpose. That’s something I can’t regret.”
The weight of my confession settles between us. Her breathing grows even and her eyelids drift shut. I wonder if she’s about to fall asleep. I like the idea of her sleeping in my arms, even if I don’t want this night to end.
“Chase.” Her voice is timid, sleepy and soft. “I’m leaving next week. I have to finish my program.” We both know what that means and I sense her apprehension. I understand it all too well. There’s so much we have left to figure out.
“We’ll work it out.” There are no easy answers, but I have to believe it. “I’ve waited forever for this. What’s a little more time?”
34
Alicia
I don’t knowwhen exactly I fall asleep but I wake the next morning to a strange sound. It’s a vibrator. No. That can’t be right. I left mine back at my flat in London. My eyes pop open and I scrub the sleep from my eyes, disorientated for a second before I remember where am I.
Needing to use the bathroom I slide my feet out of the covers, careful not to wake Chase as I leave the bed. He looks so peaceful. His chest rises and falls with a steadiness that could pull me back to sleep if I didn’t have to pee.
I pad out of the room and use the restroom. My body aches, my hair is a mess, and my eyeliner is smeared. Yet I smile back at my reflection, because last night was everything and then some. Time has only improved what was already a pleasurable experience. Not that I want to go three years without sex, or Chase, ever again.
Paws greets me as I come out of the bathroom, meowing and rubbing up against my legs.
“Hey, you.” I squat down to scratch behind his ears.
The buzzing sound that woke me earlier goes off again somewhere nearby. I push to my feet, and wander into the living room, curious as to where the pulsating rattle is coming from. My clutch lays on the couch from where it got tossed last night. It buzzes. My phone!Shit.I sent Simon a text last night, but it’s been hours since I checked in. God, I’m a horrible mom. I hope he’s only checking in and nothing’s wrong.
My screen lights with dozens of notifications when I pull it out. The messages are so far from what I expect, I can hardly process the words I’m reading.
Eddie: Alicia. Call me. NOW.
Ricky: Please pick up.
Eddie: Where are you?
Ricky: Call me back.
Simon: Your brothers can’t get hold of you.
Simon: I didn’t know if I should tell them you’re with Chase.
Simon: Not that I know where he lives.
My knees lock and I feel faint. I fall onto the couch, my heart racing and hands shaking as I scroll through more notifications. Most were sent hours ago.
Ricky: Alicia. Please. Text me back.
