Page 4 of Caught in Us
I’d almost settled on the idea of never seeing her again. The letter she left for me just over three years ago should have been the closure I needed to move on. Or at least that’s how she likely intended it. I tried reaching out but she never answered my calls and texts. When I found out she’d moved halfway around the Earth, I thought my chance was over.
I moved on.
Created my own life. One that didn’t include her. I found love again.
Only because I gave up.
I thought I had moved on. But now? Fuck. The feelings expanding my chest speak of hope and longing. Of promises unkept and love that burned with wild abandon.
“Chase. You okay?” Cam asks.
I’m frozen, filled with a shock I can’t try to hide.Fuck. I need to say something. Make an excuse. Act like my world hasn’t been rocked by one little RSVP. Because Cam and Jill don’t know about Alicia and me.
“Fine. I’m great. Just wondering. Is there a plus one?” Fuck. What is wrong with me? In a day or two I’ll get the updated seating chart.
“Um, yeah.” Jill looks down at the card still gripped in her hands then back at me. She studies my reaction, her interest clear. “Hey. You and Alicia worked at the same community center the summer before she moved, right?” Jill asks the question as if she doesn’t already know the answer.
I pretend it’s something I hardly ever recall. “Yeah.”
“Did something happen?” She narrows her gaze, as if she’s a lioness going in for the kill.
I swallow hard, my mouth parched. “What do you mean?” I flip open the cap on my water bottle and take a sip.
“Between the two of you.”
I practically choke. “Excuse me?” I shake my head, playing up my reaction with a burst of forced laughter I hope they won’t catch. “Youdoremember how much Alicia hated me? Or has all this love shit given you temporary memory loss?”
Jill’s lips pull with her frown. “I remember.”
“You weren’t my biggest fan either.” I raise my brows accusingly.
“Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes. “Well, you were kind of a dick.” She lets out a long sigh. “Sorry, I was just wondering if you know anything. Because after that she just left. Even her family cut us out. It’s really weird to be so close to someone and think you know them, and they just go and get a new life like you were never important.”
“I’m sorry, babe.” Cam squeezes Jill’s hand. “I know how much that hurt. Maybe you’ll get some answers now that she’s coming to the wedding. She left her number on the RSVP, right? Maybe invite her to the rehearsal this week? You two could catch up before the wedding. Set things right.”
Jill nods, her smile hopeful. “That’s a good idea. Thank you.” She leans his way and steals a kiss. “Okay, let’s eat this feast you made.”
I go through the motions, filling my plate with food and trying not to think about the fact I’m days away from seeing the woman I’ve tried desperately to forget. The one I loved with my whole heart. The one who’s responsible for my recovery. The only reason I’m standing here today, sober, confident, happy, and at peace.
Jill isn’t the only one with questions for her long-lost friend. The bigger question is whether I’ll have the guts to speak mine aloud. It’s not as if her answers will change anything.
2
Alicia
I glance out the window,taking in the dreary, rainy London morning. It’s something I have come to love. The weather here is almost a reflection of my inner mood. When I left Richmond, I didn’t plan to stay away this long. I’m not sure what I expected, but sometimes life throws you curveballs and you have to adjust. Understatement of my life.
“The bags are in the trunk,” Simon says, startling me from his place inside the doorway. The door bangs shut behind him. His smile is kind and good-natured, a brightness I wish I could steal.
“Thanks.” I glance around the room, my pulse speeding as I anticipate what lies ahead in the coming hours. My heart pounds in my chest, my breath growing shallow. Part of me can’t wait to get on the airplane, but a piece of me worries I’m making a huge mistake. Maybe I should stay here and hide. No. It might be the path of least resistance, but I would hate myself forever if I missed Jill and Cam’s wedding. I can’t believe she’s getting married after all the years she swore she never would. But I guess I don’t really know her anymore. With a heavy exhale I slide my backpack over one shoulder. “I hope I packed everything.”
“I think they have shops there.” Simon grins smartly, but his humor falls away when I don’t join in with a smile of my own. “You’re nervous.”
I could lie and say I’m not, but we both know the truth. “Yeah, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Hey.” He steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got this, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way. Besides, how angry can your family be? We’re finally visiting.”
“It’s not just my family that I’m worried about.” It’s Callie. Jill.Him. So many nights I’ve dreamed about going back to Chase. Ever since I left the letter. But now, everything is different. So much time has passed. So much has happened. I can’t imagine he’ll be happy to see me, or rather, us.
