Page 61 of Caught in Us
“It was nothing.” I wave her off.
She stares, her eyes widening to call my bullshit. “This is definitelynotnothing.”
No. It’s not, but I’m uncomfortable with her praise. I don’t feel I deserve it. There’s so much I have to make up for. This is just one step toward repairing the years lost and broken trust. “I should let you get back to getting ready.” I smile, stepping toward the door.
“Are you busy? Why don’t you stay?” The hopefulness in her offer is impossible to refuse.
“You sure? I don’t want to be in the way.”
“Please.” Callie blows out a breath. “We’re running out of things to talk about.” She sweeps her hands down her own gown, a sage green satin. “And we can’t sit down because of potential wrinkle damage.”
“We can’t have that.”
“Exactly!” Callie laughs and soon our conversation flows as easily as ever. We joke and laugh about old times. They ask me about Matthew. I ask about their jobs, their lives, and all the little things. The uncomfortable tension between us strips away. Warmth spreads in my chest as I experience a feeling I’d forgotten—belonging.
A longing for more moments like this takes hold. A picture, clear in my mind, begins to form. It’s of a life I’ve never dared to wish for. One where these women play a major role again. Conversation and connection. Brunch with my besties. Weekend barbeques with our families. Callie and Ash. Jill and Cam, with his daughter Kenslee too. And Chase.
Only, when I envision us all, I’m with Chase. Togethertogether. He’s a loving and attentive father to Matthew, and we’re happy.
But that isn’t going to happen. Not when he has a girlfriend. Not after breaking his heart. Selfishly, I sit with that vision of the future, letting it wrap around me like a warm blanket even if it’s only a dream. Soon enough the reality that I’m going back to London will sink in. For now, I cling to this alternate reality and allow myself to feel that joy. Even if it’s not a possibility.
29
Chase
“Why dothey make these things so damn tight?” My brother pulls at the collar of his dress shirt. His nerves rise along with the hand on the old-fashioned clock.
We’ve been inside Alicia’s childhood home for the last hour, getting ready and waiting in one of the guest bedrooms upstairs until it’s time. The room is more like a suite. This house is as immaculate as one would expect from the outside. Despite all its hallways, I hoped to run into Alicia when we arrived. I discreetly checked inside all open doors as one of the staff members led us up here, but came up empty. No sight of Matthew or Simon either. I have no idea where they are hiding, but I thought I’d at least catch a glimpse by now.
Staring out the windows that lookout onto the yard, I don’t spot her in the crowd. She should be here. The ceremony starts in fifteen minutes.
I turn, my back against the window and give my brother a once over. “Your tie is crooked.”
Cam moves in front of the mirror. “Fuck!” He fiddles with it, only making it worse.
I can’t help but laugh.
“I can’t fucking breathe in this damn thing.”
“Here.” I step between him and the mirror. “Relax. You’re freaking out.”
“I should’ve listened to Jill. Eloped at the courthouse. Or jetted off to Vegas.”
“Hey now.” I loosen his tie and adjust it so it lays flat. “Where’s the fun in that? I wouldn’t get to witness my big brother lose his shit.”
He glares at me.
A chuckle rattles my chest. “Okay, okay. Eloping might have been simpler, but I for one am immensely grateful you went all out.” I step back, nodding with approval at his suit before bringing my gaze to his. “Because if you hadn’t planned this wedding, I wouldn’t have met my son.” I shrug. “You basically changed my life with this one day.”
Cam’s shoulders fall, the tension slipping away as his brow furrows with concern. “You’re right.”
I wink. “Always.”
He rolls his eyes, a scoff leaving his lips. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
I nod to the clock. “I think it’s time. You ready?”
Cam claps his hands and rubs them together. “I’ve been waiting years for this.”
