Page 60 of All of Him
“You know what I mean.” I pushed further. “You’ll have an escape if you need it. And I’ll clean up!”
Noah seemed to deflate with my ending argument. There wasn’t much of a case for his side. He needed friends, and a party at his own house would open that up, while also leaving an out in place.
“Fine,” he said quietly. “It’s all up to you though.”
“Yes!” I yelled, pumping my fist into the air. “Party!”
32
Noah
AMANDA WAS MUCH TOOexcited about having a Christmas party in my house. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have given in, but that girl had superpowers when it came to convincing me to do things.
I watched as she danced, still standing on the couch like a lunatic. I shook my head at her but couldn’t stop smiling. The usually sarcastic girl I knew was so unbelievably excited. It was contagious.
I stood up to grab another beer, but Amanda launched herself onto my back. My shoulder groaned in protest, but not so bad that I dropped her. Instead, I laughed and tried to set her down on the ground.
I’d been getting better when it came to physical contact with her, bumping into her shoulder on the back porch and getting a quick hug for buying her a beer, but she hadn’t really touched me since that morning in my kitchen. It felt awkward, but I still just laughed about it.
“Not getting down,” she said playfully into my ear.
I felt her legs wrap tightly around my waist, her ankles locking in front of me. I put my hands under her knees to hold her there and shook my head.
“You’re a pain,” I said, trying to turn my head to look at her.
In that split second, I realized too late how close her face was to mine. Our noses bumped lightly, and my top lip brushed her closed mouth. An electric shock went through me, and I let go of her legs, dropping her onto the couch behind me.
Shit.
I turned around slowly to see her surprised expression, her eyes landing sincerely on me.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen…I was just really excited and…”
“Welp,” I said matter-of-factly, “thatjust happened.”
Amanda stood from the couch, a curious look in her eyes taking over the initial panic. She stepped toward me, one calculated step at a time, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Manda?”
Once I realized her intention, why she was closing in on me, I had a split second to pull away.
But I didn’t do it.
She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled my face down, her lips colliding with mine intensely. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I realized what was happening—something we’d so exclusively decided was a bad idea. But it didnotfeel bad.
I returned her kiss with every pent-up desire I had. I ran my hands through her hair and tilted her head back, allowing me to fully explore her mouth. She gasped as I walked her back against the wall, her sweet breath propelling me to continue. I felt her pull my hips into hers by my belt loops, causing me to immediately letting out a soft whimper. If she hadn’t known I was turned on before, she knew then.
I hadn’t felt this alive in years. Her mouth being on mine activated every part of me that had lain dormant since the accident. And while I knew that we’d have to stop and nullify everything that happened as a “mistake,” it sure didn’t feel like one. So, I continued to run my hands down her shoulders, over her chest, and finally to her hips. I pulled her tighter to me, then moved my mouth to her neck, leaving a trail for her to run her fingers along later while remembering our night.
Because it could be the only kiss we ever shared.
I pulled back, leaning my forehead against hers, both of us breathless and in shock. I didn’t dare open my eyes. I was terrified of seeing how much I affected her, terrified that we’d done something irreversible. But instead of stopping then, like I should have, I closed the gap between us and kissed her again. I let my tongue return to hers, I let our bodies press back together, and then I snapped out of it.
The look on Amanda’s face as I backed up was one of panic. I knew the feeling well, but it was suspiciously missing from my chest in that moment. She lifted her hands to cover her mouth, regret taking over. I tried to catch my breath and calm down as she closed her eyes briefly. As long as that never happened again, I’d regret nothing. But I had no confidence in my self-control anymore, not after tasting her.
“Maybe we just…” she started, an unexpected smirk spreading shyly over her cheeks, “needed to get that out of the way.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh and shook my head.
