Page 53 of All of Him
Amanda watched me carefully, probably for any signs of stress.
“So, why Ireland?” she finally asked.
I took a deep breath as she adjusted the blanket, letting some cold air hit my legs. The chill sparked memories of the first winter in Ireland. I had been freezing all the time and miserable, but I was with Garrett. That was all that had mattered to me.
“Garrett went first,” I started. “He went to university in Dublin, met a bunch of people, and invited me to join him. I applied and got in, so I went there for school. It was the right decision at the time, and I don’t regret it. I just think I’d have had more of a support system here if I hadn’t left.”
Amanda’s expression saddened, and she reached her hand out to touch my shoulder, then quickly pulled it away. “Sorry,” she said, tucking her hand back under the blanket.
“I don’t mind the little things,” I whispered. “I think I’m getting used to you being close to me.”
“So, is my leg touching you bothering you?” she asked, studying my expression.
I shook my head and patted her knee.
“I’m okay,” I admitted. “I wasn’t hugged a lot as a kid, and I never really got used to touching people. It’s still awkward for me.”
“Do you think that’s why you never told Morgan you loved her?”
“Maybe.”
I’d never even thought of that, but she had a point. I’d barely said those words in my entire life. They’d always just felt like bullets I wasn’t ready to discharge. Amanda seemed to be in a pushy mood, which was expected, and she was lucky I was feeling open.
I thought back to our conversations when we’d just met. I’d been such an asshole to her. Even though she asked for trouble a lot of the time with her bluntness, she didn’t deserve to be talked to like that. I was harsh and defensive with no reasoning behind my words. And she was just a girl who had turned out to care about me.
Morgan had been a mutual friend, and we’d met through Garrett. She tried to kiss me at a party, and I pushed back immediately. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to kiss her, but I was one of those people who liked to be in control of the physical contact. I’d ended up apologizing for being a dick and kissing her later that night, but it had taken a couple of months before the relationship progressed physically.
I chalked the touching thing up to not being nurtured a lot as a kid. Garrett had been the same way, but he’d gotten better at it over the years. He wasn’t against sleeping with random women, hence the Morgan situation, and girls hung all over him. I preferred getting to know people well, no matter how strong my feelings were, before getting intimate.
“So,” Amanda started, her voice light and suddenly peppy.
“Oh no,” I groaned, knowing full well that some prodding was coming.
We were both several drinks deep, and I knew she was going to have to stay over. Amanda laughed and looked away, possibly afraid to ask her question.
“Where is the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?”
“What?!” I asked, trying not to laugh.
She raised her eyebrows, clearly needing an answer. I hoped she knew she was going to answer the same fucking question.
“That would definitely be in a pub restroom one Halloween with my first college girlfriend. I’d had five shots of Jameson leading up to it, and I showered four times the next day. I felt so goddamn dirty.”
“What was your costume?” she asked, giggling.
“Fuck you, Amanda,” I teased. “I was a cowboy.”
She threw her head back in laughter, jarring the swing back and forth. I just sat there, red in the face and shaking my head.
“Yourturn,” I shot back at her.
“You lived a whole different persona over there, didn’t you?” she asked.
“I did,” I admitted. “Now, stop diverting the conversation. Where is the craziest place you’ve had sex?”
She bit her lip, looking down, as if the answer lay on her lap.
“Only ever in a bed,” she said quietly. “Never even a couch.”
