Page 51 of All of Him
“You don’t really know me,” I shot back.
I winced at my own words, but Noah took them in stride.
“You’re right,” he responded, shrugging. “I don’t know you all that well yet. But Idoknow enough to know that’s not who you are.”
“Like what?” I asked, leaning my cheek on my knees so I could stare at the side of his face.
“Come on,” he continued. “You’re the girl who helps people. You’ve helped me more than I can count at this point, and you help your retired father renovate houses in your spare time—for free. That’s who you are.”
“That has nothing to do with sex though,” I argued. “Sluts can be helpful.”
Noah groaned and rubbed his forehead, frustrated.
“If you were a guy, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“That was my argument! But that doesn’t change the fact that I still have a reputation.”
“You have a reputation with people who don’t know you. Those people don’t matter. And the ones who don’t bother to get to know youbecauseof a reputation? They’re not worth knowing.”
He had a point, but it still hurt.
“Okay.” I gave in. “I’m not a slut.”
“I’m proud of you for admitting that,” he sighed, taking a long swig of his beer. “Now, did you want a tidbit from my life or not?”
My head popped up quickly, making him laugh.
“I didn’t think you’d share anything after what happened this afternoon.” Noah shrugged and shook his head.
“Thank you for opening up to me, by the way. I feel honored.”
“You make it easy, Manda.”
Between his smile and the wayMandahad rolled off of his tongue so smoothly, I couldn’t keep away my own goofy grin.
Noah smirked. “Anyway, I wasn’t going to tell you about my panic attacks or depression anytime soon. That just kind of happened. I have something more lighthearted.”
“Ooh,” I cooed. “Dish.”
Noah laughed again and pulled out his phone. I watched him flip through his pictures but didn’t try and look at any of them, wanting to give him space. When he finally clicked on one, he held it up in my general direction. I leaned over a little, unable to ignore the light scent of his body wash, and looked closely.
“That’s me about a month before the accident. I was miserable with my group of friends, but I still had Garrett. He’s the only reason I was smiling.”
I took the phone from him and studied the photo. He had shorter hair, the huge smile I loved, and his clothes fit much more like they were supposed to. He was definitely a few pounds heavier, but in a lean way. Muscles were clear through his T-shirt, and his jeans weren’t the least bit baggy. Even his face was fuller.
“You look really good,” I admitted, handing him back the phone.
Noah sighed and nodded.
“I lost a lot of weight after the accident. I didn’t really eat, and I definitely didn’t work out. If I wasn’t running so much now, I’d probably look like that again eventually. But I prefer running to lifting.”
“You still have biceps,” I joked, squeezing his arm. “And your hair is better like this.” Provoking him, I ruffled his shaggy, still-drying hair.
“Ugh,” he groaned, trying not to laugh. “I think I like myself better this way too. I’m starting to feel like a new person.”
“Can I look at some more?” I asked, fully expecting him to say no.
Instead, he handed me his phone and leaned in close, so he could see what I was looking at. I tried to ignore the way his shoulder pressed lightly against mine and the way I could feel him breathing next to me, but I couldn’t. I was fully aware of his presence as I looked down at the phone, chills running up the arm that brushed his.
