Page 97 of All of Him
“The only one I can think of is calling the baristababethe other day, but it was seven in the morning, so it doesn’t count.”
“So, your life has been boring without me,” I mused.
Amanda didn’t laugh or fire back like I’d thought she would. Instead, she tilted her head toward the night sky again.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Her mouth turned into a small smile, but she still didn’t look at me. Guilt sat heavily in my chest, but I was hellbent on making it up to her—for as long as she’d have me around.
“Teel’s so mad at you,” she said after a few seconds of silence.
I let the crickets take back over as I thought of a response, but she beat me to it.
“But I assume you already knew that.”
“What does she know?” I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.
“Enough to be mad and not enough to understand any of it,” she answered, finally looking at me. “She knows you went through hell and are trying to deal with it. She knows something went down in Ireland, both between us and something traumatic for you. She obviously knows about Garrett—since everyone does—but she doesn’t know about your diagnoses or Jackson. The way she sees it, you preemptively slept with her baby sister and then ditched accordingly.”
“Shit,” I groaned, running my hand along the slight stubble I’d neglected to shave that morning.
Amanda bit her lip. It seemed as if she wanted me to allow her to explain some more to Teel, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted out in the open.
“You can tell her about Jackson.”
“Noah,” she started sincerely, “no one will understand without the full story. All of it. But I’m not saying I want her to know. She needs to trust me. I was just giving you a warning in case you two cross paths.”
“What about your dad?” I asked, clenching my jaw with sudden nervousness.
“He doesn’t know anything happened. I made Teel promise she wouldn’t say anything. You didn’tdoanything wrong. You’re doing everything right. You’re taking care of yourself. And look at you—you look and sound so much better.”
I took a deep breath and stood, grabbing the empty bottle of wine. Amanda’s eyes followed my movements, and I walked to the outside trash can to toss it, needing to move around.
“So, you miss my awkwardness?” she asked teasingly.
I walked up to her and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a standing position. I let myself push her hair behind her ear, then left my hand on her cheek, my thumb brushing her face. She bit her lip, unsure of my next move.
“I miss all of you. All the fucking time,” I whispered.
She stepped closer, her toes tapping mine on the sidewalk beneath our feet. I let the moment linger—the both of us just looking at each other. She closed her eyes, and I took in the way her lashes fluttered over her cheeks. Lowering my head, I let our noses brush, then my forehead settle against hers.
“You can kiss me if you want,” she whispered. “It’s okay.”
“I don’t want to be a tease, Manda,” I answered, doing my best to not give in.
She pulled me close with her free hand, laying her head on my chest. I tried not to laugh as she ran her hand in approval over my larger pecs.
“It’s okay,” she said against me. “It’s like the appetizer before the main course, right?”
Both of us cracked up at her words, but we still didn’t let go of each other. It was a serious moment, but she was just so damn good at making things weird. I loved that about her, and I wanted so fucking badly to kiss her.
I pulled back and grabbed my wine before leading her inside, her hand in mine. She followed without question, only stopping when I placed my empty wineglass on the counter. When I turned to look at her, she’d moved closer, still approaching me.
“Noah,” she said, her voice smooth.
My whole body shivered as she placed her hand in the center of my chest gently, then let it slide down and up under the hem of my shirt. I felt my abs tense—something I hadn’t felt since they’d returned—and looked her right in her cloudy eyes.
“I’ve missed all ofyoutoo.”
