Page 61 of All of Him
“Why’d you kiss me, Manda?”
“You kissed me back.”
“I didn’t mean it,” I lied.
Amanda narrowed her eyes. If she’d believed me, she would have looked hurt. Instead, she kept smirking. She knew I was lying, but I had a feeling she wasn’t going to call me out on it. Calling me out would mean addressing honest feelings for one another, and Amanda was not one to commit to something. Especially not a guy with so much emotional baggage.
I was just a body. And that hurt me far too much.
“How do we backpedal from that?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.
I shrugged. “You write it in your book of awkward moments, I get another beer, and we forget about it completely.”
With that and not trusting that I wouldn’t just step toward her again, I walked into the kitchen to grab a drink. Backpedaling from such an intense kiss was easier said than done, but I had a feeling the two of us would be good at avoiding the topic. It would be the elephant in the room for a while, but it wouldn’t be brought up. Amanda hated commitment, and I was incapable of a relationship for the time being.
I walked back into the living room to see Amanda going into her bedroom. “Where are you going? It’s okay.”
“I need my book,” she called from her room.
When she walked back out, she had a small red composition book in her hand. She tossed it at me gently, then sat in the chair across from the couch.
“You’re…” I started, shocked at what I was holding. “You’re just going to let me read it?”
“Uh, yeah,” she said, exasperated. “Afterthat? I owe you. Read whatever you want.”
I stared back at her, still in disbelief that I held the notoriousawkward momentsbook. Part of me wanted to look at recent things, interactions withmethat she’d considered awkward. Instead, I sat down across from her and opened it to the first page.
“Oh man,” she said, getting up quickly. “I need a strong beer if you’re really going to do this.”
I watched, trying not to laugh as she literally jogged into the kitchen and came back out with a bottle in hand.
“Okay,” she said, crossing her legs in the chair. “I’m ready.”
I wanted to give her an out, but in reality, I needed something—anything—to distract me from the buzz I still felt on my lips. And the pulsing in my jeans.
I looked down, reading aloud the first entry.
“Age twenty-one…” I paused to check on Amanda.
She’d put up her hood and pulled the strings tight, so I could only see her eyes and nose. She looked ridiculous, but also adorable. I kept reading to distract myself from that.
“I need to start this book after what happened today. I’ll add more as I remember from the past, but this is day one. Let’s go.”
I looked up again at Amanda, who had loosened the strings just enough to take a sip of beer. I tried not to laugh as she pulled them tight again, leaving an even smaller hole than before.
“I wore a black shirt to the bar tonight and drank way too much. There was a good DJ, and I ended up grinding with some hottie. We got really into it, and I felt that he was…”I paused, unable to keep from smirking.
Amanda covered what was left of her face and shook her head.
My lips were still vibrating from her touch, so I continued,
“I felt that he was hard against my back. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized he had come all over my black shirt.Oh.” I closed the book and set it down on the coffee table, waiting for her to come out of her hood.
I hadn’t needed to read any of that. Reading about Amanda’s dirty dancing had only made things worse.
I kept my eyes trained on the seriously embarrassed girl across from me until she slowly loosened the strings.
“You’re not going to read any more?” she asked.
