Page 29 of All of Him
She showed me the photo, bright from the flash, but not too bad. I was starting to look human again, save for the massacre that was my cheek.
“For your Contact photo on my phone. Is that okay?”
I nodded.
“And you happen to have a nice face; it’s not stupid.”
“Did you just tell me that I’m attractive?” I joked. “Was that a compliment?”
Amanda bit her lip and folded her arms across her chest, guarding herself. “I needed it, I think.”
A few minutes of silence passed between us as the color slowly faded from the sky. The sounds of the leaves rustling in the breeze disturbed the silence of the country night, and stars lit up the darkness just above the horizon. I felt at ease, possibly from the relief of sharing Garrett’s death out loud. I’d thought it would crush me, telling someone, but it hadn’t.
I turned to look at Amanda again, her eyes softly closed, lashes fluttering against her cheeks. I was jealous—jealous that she’d never experienced a tragedy. At the same time though, I was exceptionally grateful that she hadn’t. Even with the brief time we’d spent together, her well-being had inflated in importance to me. I cared already—cared too damn much. But nothing about that felt wrong. The night felt right. As I sat there on my back porch with her, watching the sunset, it felt like a piece to a puzzle I’d been trying to put together. I needed to acknowledge that—even if only to myself. There was something about this girl that unhinged me and pulled me together, all at once.
“I like to take things slow.” I spoke softly, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere.
Amanda turned to face me and leaned her back against the opposite railing, listening intently.
“I’m not the type of person who opens up easily or creates drama. I don’t come in or leave as a storm. I’ve been told I have the superpower of invisibility.”
“Whoever said that was crazy,” Amanda whispered. “But I don’t have a whole lot of friends, soslowis okay with me.”
I watched her look up at the sky, noticing the way the moonlight hit her cheeks. She pushed her hair behind her ear and just stared. I wondered if she knew just how beautiful she was. With all the bickering we’d done, I hadn’t taken too much time to notice.
“The stars are nice out here once the sky goes completely black,” I said to her.
Her eyes met mine, and she smiled.
“I like stars,” she said, immediately covering her eyes. “Ugh.”
“You are…insufferably awkward.” I smirked.
“Ugh,” she groaned, finally letting me see her face again. “I know. It’sterrible. That line will probably have to go in my journal.”
“Do I make you nervous or something?”
“That’s what Oscar thinks,” she answered. “I mean…”
I tried not to laugh as she caught herself saying another awkward thing. It was kind of adorable, and it made my heart feel a little less dark inside.
“You talked to Oscar about me?”
“Ugh,” she groaned again, shaking her head. “I said I was having issues with just spitting things out to you, and he basically thinks it’s because I think you’re hot.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“So, we’ve come full circle to you calling me attractive again. Now what?”
The fact that she wasn’t asking me personal questions made her awkwardness amusing for once. Even in the dim lighting, I could tell she was blushing.
“I don’t think you’re going to go into anaphylaxis at this point,” she finished, standing up. “So, I should probably go.”
I nodded and watched her sashay toward the house, shaking her head at herself. I felt my lips turn up into a smile, my mood spiking from our interaction. I hadn’t flirted in years, and I wasn’t even sure if I knew how. And despite knowing it would be a bad idea to lead her on, a simple compliment couldn’t hurt.
“Hey, Amanda!” I called.
She turned briefly and looked at me, holding the door ajar.
