Page 24 of Remind Me
“Sug, as long as I am alive, he was never going to lay a hand on you. Pa and the boys told you that if he ever crossed our paths, then he was going to wish that he was dead after what we would do to him.”
“I know but what about the times that you couldn’t be around? Or the times you were out of town? There was always a ‘what if’ in the back of my mind. Now… there’s not. It’s over?”
“Yes, it’s over. He can’t hurt you anymore. I made sure there was a death certificate and everything.” Vannah took a deep breath but was quiet. Reaching over, I brushed a hair from her face, my hand cupping her cheek. She looked up at me.
“I don’t have to bring our baby into a world where they exist.”
“No, you don’t.” Moving dinner back to the table, she wrapped her arms around me and hid her face in my neck. Wrapping my arms around her, I laid down on the couch and just held her against me. I didn’t plan on moving until she was ready. While this was good news for her, it was going to take some time for her to process it.
Past Cash
Sitting at my desk, textbooks open in front of me, my head was beginning to hurt from all the shit I was trying to remember for the test I had tomorrow. This was a big one and I couldn’t fail it. That thought seemed to echo in my brain and remind me every time I stopped to think about something. Then the self-doubt would creep in until I just wanted to give up. I couldn’t though. This was everything that I had worked so hard for. Years of late-night cramming sessions to make sure I covered everything. Years of saying no to going out with mates. This was it.
To give me some peace and quiet, Pa had taken Ma, Beau, and Austin out for the night. Part of me was grateful for this, the other part just needed the noise. Something to distract me from the voice in my head telling me that it wasn’t enough; that I wasn’t enough. Slamming the textbook closed, I hid my face in my hands, pushing them up into my hair. No, I had to push past that. I had to keep ignoring it. I could do this! I was enough!
Pushing my chair back from my desk, I stood up and stretched. Crossing the room to my bedroom door, I opened it up and headed for the kitchen. Ma had made me my favorite before they left in case I got hungry and warned me that it had better not be there when she got home. I was just about to grab a drink from the fridge when I heard the doorbell.
Opening it up, I saw Savannah standing there. She had her bag over her shoulder and was looking down at the ground.
“Hey.” She looked up and I could tell that she had been crying. “Hey, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. Is Beau here? We were meant to study together…”
“He’s not, I’m afraid. Our dad took them out to give me some peace and quiet to study for a test tomorrow. Are you sure you are okay?”
“I was just hoping for the distraction is all, but it’s fine, I will see him at school tomorrow.”
“I was about to have something to eat, if you haven’t eaten yet, would you like to join me? If I know my ma, she has made way too much for me to eat by myself. If you want to stay and study, you are welcome to do that as well.”
“No, it’s fine, I don’t want to distract you.”
“Really, you’re good. It would keep me from the distractions in my head. Please, I can’t let you walk away without knowing that you are really okay.” She was quiet for a bit before eventually nodding. Stepping aside, I let her pass. Closing the door after her. Leading her into the kitchen, Savannah went to sit down at the counter. I opened the oven door and, after putting on the oven mitts, I pulled the lasagna out and sat it on the board on the counter.
“Did you want something to drink?”
“Juice please?”
“Coming right up.” I pulled two glasses down from the cupboard and went to the fridge and pulled out the juice. After filling both of the glasses, I put the juice back in and took the salad Ma had made out. Setting it down on the counter next to the lasagna, I went to grab the drinks and handed one to Savannah before starting to serve up dinner. The whole time there was silence between us. I wish I could have thought of something to say to her, but I was drawing a blank. We had seen each other a few times since the party but mainly when she was with Beau.
“What are you studying?” Her voice was quiet as she asked the question.
“My psychology test tomorrow. It’s worth 25 percent of my final grade and every time I think I am fine, there is that little voice in the back of my head that tells me I haven’t done enough.”
“Is that why everyone left you alone?”
“Yeah, my pa knows how loud the other two can get and how important this is to me, so he took them out.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go? I won’t be offended.”
“Please stay, I promise you are fine. I was about to eat, so it makes sense for you to join me. You can still stay here and study after if you wanted to.” Savannah nodded again and went quiet. Putting a plate down in front of her, I went to the drawer and took a knife and fork and sat them down beside her plate. Taking one for me as well, I moved around the counter and sat down next to her, starting to eat as the silence fell around us again.
When we had finished, I pushed my plate away and turned to look at her.
“So, I don’t remember you being this quiet.” She looked over at me, setting her juice down on the counter.
“I’m sorry, just a tough day for me is all.”
“Do you want to talk about it? I may not be able to fix things, but I am a good listener.” She shook her head.
