Page 289 of Saving 6

“I know you are,” I sniffled, cranking the engine. “I know, Joe.”

“I…love…” I felt my body tense when he clumsily reached across the car and tried to pat my thigh. “You…Molloy….”

Tell me when you’re sober,” I replied, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It won’t count tonight.”

“Why won’t it count, Molloy?”

“Because you won’t remember it,” I whispered sadly.

REALITY CHECKS AND DAWNING AWARENESS

DECEMBER 25TH 2004

JOEY

When I opened my eyes,it was to a room full of mid-morning sunshine and a pillow of blonde hair in my face.

Naked as the day I was born, I had my arm thrown over a blonde who had her equally naked back to me.

Pain, undiluted and toxic, instantly flooded my chest, seeping through every vein and artery in my body until I could feel nothing but misery.

Darkness enveloped me.

Sucking in a pained breath when the familiar pang of hunger clawed at my throat, I tightened my fists, locking my muscles into place,

My hunger wasn’t for food.

It was for heroin.

Disgusted, I thought about how far I had fallen.

How I had let myself become my father.

I was poisoned on the inside just like he was.

I couldn’t get beyond it.

This hereditary weakness handed down to me by the person I hated most in this world would forever eat me alive from the inside out.

Addiction had settled deep inside of me like a leach attaching itself to a blood-filled carcass.

Frozen to the spot, and with my stomach twisted up in knots, I desperately tried to rake through my hazed thoughts, until the familiar scent of her shampoo flooded my senses.

Molloy…

Heaving a huge sigh of relief, I shifted closer to her warm body and pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder.

She sniffled in response.

I froze.

She sniffled again.

Ah fuck.

She choked out a sob.

The last few days’ events came trickling back to me, bit by bit, and my blood ran cold as shame enveloped me in its familiar embrace.