Page 130 of Commanding Flame and Shield
“I need to wash tonight off of me.” Her voice broke a bit, and she pushed her hands away from her body. Like she could force field all of it away. She stripped my sweatshirt from her body, tossing it on the floor in one motion. A simple black tank top was all that remained with those black sweatpants. She had never looked so vulnerable, her eyes closed, brow furrowed, as she yanked the hair tie out of her bun. Her long soft waves fell in curtains on either side of her face.
“Get yourself a drink, Ally. I’ll draw you a bath.”
“I can do it.”
“I know. But, let me? Please.” Anything. Anything to keep my hands busy and convince myself that I could help her. Somehow. Even if it was a small, trivial task, at least it could serveher. She met my stare and seemed to understand. Ally inclined her head, lips pressed thin, and turned towards the bronze bar cart full of crystal decanters and glasses.
I walked for the great wood door she had vanished behind the last time I’d been here. Sure enough, a great bath chamber sat on the other side. A low whistle seemed the appropriate response. Most of the room was made of deep emerald, and white Carrara marble. The green was interwoven with shimmering golds and deepest blacks. I wasn’t sure what kind of stone it was, but the regality to it wasn’t lost on me. Fit for a queen. She deserved all of it, and more. She deserved peace, and joy. More than what awaited us. I shook the thoughts away.
The vanity was backed in the white marble, great curving gold mirrors above each sink. The bath in the center of the room was closer to a great spa, or small pool. Two would have room to float side by side, with space to move and balance. The great white basin seemed to shimmer, even dry as it was. Gold faucets surrounded it, and I flicked on the closest one. Each head released a pouring stream of steaming water. It fell to the bottom with a crashing roar, which sounded much too loud in the precarious silence of its owner, who had appeared on cat soft steps, in the doorway. She held two crystal glasses full to the brim with amber liquid. She extended one to me.Sweet Lord, yes.
Alvara smiled sweetly but didn’t shift, and I realized her end of our connection was still...silent. Not justherpowers, but her very essence as an ascended soul of Grayshell had vanished. Her connection to us. I winced and stepped forward to accept the glass. Her lips curved upward softly, but the small smile came nowhere near her eyes. An eccedentesiast, attempting to mask a very raw wound.
“You don’t have to hide. Pretend to be okay. Not for me, Ally.”
It seemed to be all the permission she needed, her face crumpling, shoulders curling as she retreated into herself. Tears began streaming, shimmering down that sculpted face. A shuddering sigh broke from her, the sound shattering a small piece of my heart. Hopeless. Whatever had happened between the swaggering Adrastos, and the divine woman in front of me…it had left her hopeless. The proposal couldn’t be a good one. And by the look on her face, she couldn’t see a way out of it, either. She took another shuddering breath and downed the contents of her glass. I did the same, setting my own on the counter. A thought occurred to me. I caught myself as I went to send it mind to mind.
“Your gifts…They’re really gone?”
“Until Agamemnon releases them.”
“You’re sure? All of them?”
Her glare said enough, and I smiled at her. Emerald eyes, still beautiful even now, after being dimmed, narrowed infinitesimally. As though she could still read my thoughts.
Bold, daring, potentially idiotic idea.
But as the swirling steam filled the room, and I surveyed her curled in shoulders, her dipped chin, the heaviness in her silver lined eyes, I knew what I would do for any other woman I had loved like this. Never likethis. But loved...
Hesitantly, I stepped forward, stomach flipping. Like a fast drop over a roller coaster’s edge.
I gently removed the empty glass from her curled hand. She allowed it. I set it on the counter with a soft clink, never allowing our gaze to break. She blinked a few times, as I closed the distance between our bodies. Her breath quickened, as did that metronome heartbeat. Gently, slowly, I wrapped around her, not bothering to avoid her bare arms. Or the skin of her waist peeking out from the bunch of the tank top. The heat of her against my skin, God, it undid me. It seemed the same for her as she gave a broken, desperate breath.
I hesitated, but her eyes flashed to mine, the little spark I loved making an appearance, and she closed the rest of the distance. She collapsed against me, and I encompassed her entirely in my arms. I stroked her back, slowly moving my hands around to her biceps. Making lazy, long patterns up the sides of her forearms. She slid her hands under my shirt, pulling it up, up, up, until it bunched between us. Her breathing grew more rapid as she slid her own fingers up and down the planes of my back, skin to skin. I breathed in the scent of her. Relishing the feel of her for a moment. Just her. Us. No powers or shields.
Just Alvara, the warmth of her, and supple velvety skin against my calloused fingers. For a moment, we were frozen there. When my heart steadied, I allowed my fingers to trace over one of the ridged scars across her upper arm. Her breath was hot against my chest, my neck, quicker as I retraced the scar.
“Renown blade,” she whispered against me. She slid her hands over my pecs to my shoulders, and then down, leaving a blazing trail in her wake. Her soft skin was broken by another scar, by her elbow, and I stopped to finger the edges.
She chuckled softly, but it sounded sincere. “That one I deserved.” I stifled a laugh, and before I could ask about it, she continued. “Alec and I have a Christmas tradition. And I got a bit over competitive one year.” I leaned back to look at her, brows raised mockingly.Of course you did, I made to say the words aloud, but she chuckled, “Oh shush, you.” She smiled fondly, the softest crinkles appearing by her eyes. “And may have taken a dive off my sled, across the ice.”
I traced another, and another, and another. She told me about each of them, eliciting deep belly laughs more than once.
“Why keep them?” I finally asked. “Why not just heal them completely?”
She shrugged one shoulder, still tight against my arms. “Some of them, we do. But keeping them…it’s like…writing my story on my body. Preserving it.” I nodded, thinking of the scars on my own body in the same way. The same light. “I’ve earned them. So many of them. Doing what I believe in. What’sright.” The emphasis in that word seemed to tense her very heart, and she laid her head against my chest again. The tears began anew, wetting the skin through my shirt. I continued lazy circles up her arm, moving my other hand to stroke her hair. To pull it away from her damp face. She breathed in deeply, and I knew she was scenting me too. I wondered if this feel of us, together, with nothing between us, would solidify in her mind as I knew it would in mine.
Wondered if she was inhaling my scent for that very purpose, as I breathed in her sweet summery cinnamon. Noted the hint of almond oil in her hair as I kissed her precious mussed curls. The top of her head. She shuddered into me, and I wrapped my arms tighter around her. As though I could protect her there. Shield her from the world.
The pain that monster had caused her, with whatever had been said or done, was inexcusable. He would not live for it. Had signed his own execution order when he shoved her towards us, a distraction for his own exit.
Fuck. I’d come so close to losing her. So close to never even getting this moment, holding her in my arms, where she belonged. I couldn’t afford to be a coward. Not with her. Not again. Consequences be damned.
Gently, gingerly, I pulled our bodies apart to look at her face. I lingered for a moment, studying her full pink lips. Noted that there was life in those eyes, yes, but it was still dimmed. Rage threatened to boil within me. So, I pulled her face upwards with a finger under her delicately pointed chin. Cupping each of her slender cheeks, I leaned forward. Alvara closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. For a second, I wondered what it felt like, to be touched and have her mind stay silent after all these years.
Slowly, I kissed each eyelid, so softly my lips barely registered the caress. I kissed away each salty tear that glimmered on her cheeks, willing the pain away. She whimpered, her hands sliding under my shirt up my back, making my cock twitch. Growing need demanded my attention, challenging my control.You’re not a damn animal, keep it together.
A disciplined breath steadier, I shifted, slowly, cautiously, deciding to test the waters.
