Page 57 of Starting Back
“Sure,” I said as I returned her hug goodbye and held open my front door. “Thanks for stopping by. Sorry there was nothing worthwhile to report.”
“I mean it, Kris. Good things will come if you’re open to them.”
“I’m sure they will eventually. I’ll take things one awful date at a time.”
She nodded, the tilt of her mouth as she eyed me on her way out telling me this conversation would never be over until I gave someone a real chance.
And I would, when things felt right. The last time anything felt close to right, there was sand between my toes and an arm of inked muscle around my waist.
Silly fantasies wouldn’t do me any good in the long term, but Nicole was right, I hadn’t let Leo go completely. I had the temptation to text him all the time, but I never sent a single one.
What we had was perfect, and if I’d reached out, only to get no response, I’d ruin it. But holding on to the idea of him was a crutch that prevented me from considering anyone else.
It was sad to admit, but I preferred my imaginary love life over trying to make a real one.
I pondered that sobering epiphany all the way to work and through half of my shift. I was partway through my third cup of coffee when Buck’s tap on my shoulder almost made me spill it all over my scrubs.
“Maybe cut down to fewer than five cups when you come in next shift. A tap on the shoulder shouldn’t give you a heart attack.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I glowered at my second best friend snickering at me as I patted the drops of coffee I wasn’t able to stop from landing on my pants.
Buck and I had attended high school together, and everyone thought we were a thing. He was attractive, tall with dark eyes and, at the time, dark hair, but I could never think of him as anything else but a friend.
Other friends didn’t believe us, always swearing we’d end up together, and I supposed we were, just not how everyone assumed we would be.
I was in his wedding party, and he was in mine, despite Colin always giving him a side eye because he couldn’t fathom how a man and woman could be true platonic friends.
“I have a patient with leg pain and we think it’s from an injury, but while you’re here, we want to double-check it’s not a blood clot.”
“No problem. I’m ready when you are.” I stood, eyeballing my pants for more spots.
“Awesome. A new nurse is shadowing me, so he’ll be helping me bring him in.”
“He? You mean we finally got a second male nurse in the ER?”
He smiled with a slow nod.
“I’m the only male nurse here because this is a tiny town with only one of everything. When I did clinical at Albany General there were more of us, but yeah, I guess I’m not the king anymore.”
I laughed at his exaggerated sigh.
“Is that where he’s from?”
“No, he just moved here from out of state. He’ll be a per diem nurse in the ER only a couple days a week because, get this, he’s a fire lieutenant too. Started at the Kelly Lakes station last week. I’ve never seen someone do both.”
“Wow, that’s funny.”
Buck followed me into the small ultrasound room outside of the ER that resembled a closet. There was just enough room for me, a patient, and the equipment.
“Why is that funny?” Buck asked as I turned on my computer and gathered my supplies.
“Leo, the…guy from Florida. He was both. He had his RN degree.” I took the patient chart from Buck and started punching in their information. “He was a lieutenant too. I guess maybe it’s a more common thing than I thought.”
I was halfway through setting up when I noticed how silent Buck had become.
“What made you get so quiet?” I glanced over my shoulder, my smile fading at the deep crease in his forehead. I was familiar enough with it to freeze with concern.
“I forgot you said his name was Leo.”
