Page 35 of Starting Back
“Why are you in Florida alone?”
I padded back to the bed, grabbing the duvet and draping it over me as I sat on the edge, my back to Leo as I didn’t know how to look at him and hear Colin’s voice at the same time.
“You knew I had a trip planned to Florida. What’s the problem?”
“Yes, with someone. Not going off alone for four days.”
I reared back and squinted at the phone. Being scolded by my ex-husband from thousands of miles away was an unexpected and unwelcome surprise.
I took in a deep breath, as I always did when Colin started to get under my skin, and squared my shoulders to give a calm and even answer.
“Nicole came down with the flu and the room was nonrefundable. I had the time off and couldn’t reschedule it or I’d lose it. I’m fine,” I added, even though I knew that wasn’t concern slicing an edge into his tone.
My body tensed up, a muscle memory reaction from fighting with Colin for so many years until it was finally enough.
“I know that. Emma told me when I called. What is the matter with you? You left the girls to go on vacation by yourself, vulnerable and alone, where something could happen to you. Kris, I really didn’t think you were this irresponsible.”
Heat rose up my neck as I gripped the phone, wishing he were close enough to throw it at his face.
“I don’t know what makes you think you can speak to me like one of our kids, but we aren’t married anymore, and my vacations are my business.”
“Look,” he sighed, that dramatic, audible blow out of air I was all too familiar with. “If you want to be reckless, that’s your business, but you should know better.”
Where the hell was this coming from? Colin hadn’t cared what I did or where I went for a long time. His only concern would be if there was someone to watch the girls. It didn’t make sense for him to be so upset with the idea of me in Florida alone.
“First of all, this is a safe five-star resort. I’m not the first person to ever go on vacation alone. Hell, I never go at all unless it’s with our kids, and I wanted to get away and try to relax for once. Like you do with all your fishing and hunting trips. So, if that makes me irresponsible to you, again, that’s your problem, not mine.”
Those trips took him away on Thanksgiving every year and a weekend a month every summer. Even while we were married, I’d mostly taken the girls away alone while he went with his friends or had some excuse for not being able to go. But I could only blame him so much as I’d kept my mouth shut and let the resentment fester until it spilled out at all the wrong times.
“And they’re with my mother and brother because you thought it would be too much to take them for four days since a day and a half is your limit as a full-time parent. You aren’t inconvenienced at all by my irresponsible trip, so whether I’m with someone or alone, it’s none of your concern.”
I felt the bed dip behind me as the mattress creaked. So much for the lust bubble that I’d thought Leo and I were nestled into for the night. Nothing like hearing the woman you just had sex with argue with her ex-husband to kill any kind of mood.
“And here we go again. I was a terrible father and husband, you never got a break. I’ve heard this song before. This is taking a selfish risk when you have kids depending on you. Act your age, for Christ’s sake.”
“Ah,” I said, a humorless laugh falling from my lips. “Are you afraid something will happen to me, and you’ll actually have to be a full-time father? I’m sure my brother would step in should anything happen to me from being so reckless, so you have nothing to worry about.”
“Stop putting words in my mouth. I never said that.”
Divorce was supposed to end this cycle. The constant gaslighting, accusing me of taking things the wrong way, or overreacting so often that I pulled too many punches and held too much in, accepting scraps from my own husband because I thought it was all I deserved.
“Whatever your reason for calling, I don’t care. My vacations are none of your business, and you aren’t ruining this one. Goodbye.”
I stabbed the screen to end the call and dropped my head into my hands, clenching my eyes shut as I took slow breaths in and out.
“I’m sorry,” I told Leo without turning to face him. “My ex called to tell me how reckless I’m being by going on vacation alone, which I’m sure he only cares about because if something happens to me, he may have to take care of the girls full time. It’s a lot of bullshit and why I’m divorced.”
“So, I was right.”
My head jerked to where Leo now sat beside me on the bed.
“Right about what?”
“I figured he was an asshole. And from what I overheard, probably a big reason you think doing anything for yourself is a crime.”
“Probably,” I allowed, forcing a smile across my face to lighten the rotten mood shift. “Anyway, we can stay in, go out, whatever you want to do—”
Leo grabbed my wrist when I stood.
