Page 27 of Starting Back
Just always felt like one.
I had no real roots here or anywhere. I could pack up my apartment in a day and move on tomorrow if I found a job somewhere else without much hesitation or breaking a sweat. I’d miss some of the friends I’d made here and liked the guys in my firehouse, but nothing and no one compelled me to make this home.
It was a problem I liked to ignore, but Kristina didn’t seem like she would let it drop.
She rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I have a tiny confession to make. When you were in the restroom, I may have checked out some of the screenshots Nicole sent me of you.” She let out a long exhale before turning back to me, a frown pulling at her lips. “What you did in that fire, all those kids you helped save.”
“That’s my job. Some fires are easier than others, but we always go in with the same purpose.”
“You don’t get awards for just doing your job.”
“I did, so the award wasn’t necessary.” I realized how clipped my tone was when she reared back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” I reached across the table and grabbed her hand.
“Can I make an assumption that you may get a little mad at me for?”
“Go for it,” I told her, flashing a smile to hide the dread over whatever she was about to tell me.
“I know it’s silly to think I know you, truly know you, after only a day. But the Leo I know so far is warm and considerate and open. And maybe I’m naive in thinking that’s not something a person can fake. You don’t seem like someone who moves from place to place without a second thought. What’s making you so unsettled?”
I set the bottle down on the table, taking in a slow breath before lifting my head. It wasn’t that I didn’t know why. In fact, I’d spent most of my life avoiding the answer. But for some reason, Kristina’s kind green eyes gave me the first inclination I’d had maybe ever to confess to someone, and myself, why I never liked to stay in one place.
“My parents died when I was sixteen. A car crash on an icy road.”
She pressed her hand to her chest, her eyes widening as she fell back in her chair.
“I’m so sorry, Leo.”
“My mother went right away, but they were able to get my father out. Once they told him what happened to his wife after he was stable, he had a heart attack. I moved in with my aunt and uncle until I turned eighteen.”
She picked up my hand and covered it with both of hers.
“I’m a nosy asshole, and I’m so sorry I pushed you.”
“You aren’t and you didn’t push. It’s not something I talk about, but I’m okay with telling you.”
“Where did you go when you turned eighteen?”
“College. I completed the credits I needed to become a firefighter and an EMT. When I graduated, I followed a couple of friends to Chicago and lived there for about a year. So that’s one.” I shot Kristina a crooked grin and held up a finger.
She shook her head. “You don’t have to tell me any more. I lost my father when I was thirty-five and it was awful enough, but losing them both so young must have been terrible.”
“I guess I moved around so much because it was easier to stay distant and detached. Which is fine when you’re young, but since I just turned forty, I need to settle somewhere, right? Florida is pretty easy living. The weather is mild, I have a good routine with both jobs, and I can keep busy easier.”
“You don’t seem distant or detached to me.”
“Because you have been my big exception on most things since we met. Well, since I noticed you scowling at your drink by the pool.”
A slow grin spread across her lips.
“Back at you.” She let go of my hands and took a sip from her water glass, jerking her head to me after she set it down. “Wait, you just turned forty?”
“The spots of gray and the lines around my eyes should have been a clue. Is that a problem?”
“No, not at all. I just didn’t know your age until now. I’m forty-two. If you Google the meaning of life, it comes up as forty-two. But so far, I have more questions than answers.”
Her smile was warm and patient, without any judgment. I’d taken her out today because I wanted to know her, and the more I knew, the more I liked, and the more screwed I was.
“I think you may have more answers than you realize.”
