Page 23 of Starting Back
“It’s good,” I conceded. “Simpler than what I usually get, but yes, very good.”
Leo’s question triggered another sour memory. Colin used to pick up iced coffee for us on his way home from work every day, until one day he told me that he didn’t feel like stopping and giving them my complicated order because it took too long.
When I attempted to pinpoint the day everything started to deteriorate from good to tolerable and then awful, I found little things like that were to blame for chipping away at our marriage over time before resentment blew up on both sides.
The fading affection wore away at us little by little, like when Colin stopped kissing me hello or goodbye anymore, then rolled his eyes when I pointed it out, which I never did again after that one time.
He didn’t hesitate to book a reconciliation getaway at the suggestion of our therapist but stopped caring for me in tiny ways that grew bigger over time.
To me, proof of love was always in the smallest details, and when I looked back and tallied them up, my heart always sank when they added up to nothing.
“I can take you to Starbucks on the way back if you like that better.”
My chest squeezed at the simple offer. Leo was right. I had no idea how to accept attention or even consideration from a man because I’d learned not to expect it. Maybe my attention-starved and bruised ego were responsible for this crazy thing going on between Leo and me.
It was hard to simply enjoy how Leo made me feel without my suspicious brain trying to pick it apart. Years of therapy and being forced to tune in to how I felt and why made it an annoying knee-jerk reaction.
“No, this is perfect.” I cradled his cheek, brushing his lips with a light kiss before I could help it. “Breakfast was great, too. This is all very sweet of you to do on your day off.”
He took a lock of my hair and sifted it between his fingers as he chuckled to himself.
“Buying an iced coffee and an egg sandwich for a beautiful woman who agreed to let me take her out for the day isn’t a hardship.” He traced my jaw with the tip of his finger. “That’s you I’m talking about, in case you were wondering.”
A smile snuck across my lips.
“And right back to smooth.”
He leaned back, squinting at me.
“I thought you said I was suave?” He arched a brow at me.
“I said you were hot too.” I eased closer, sliding my hand to the back of his neck. I laughed when his brows jumped. I didn’t expect such a brazen response to come out of me either. I was surprising myself left and right this vacation.
His chest rose with a deep inhale before he breathed out a slow groan.
“Let’s get out before the only part of the Keys you see is my truck.” He skimmed his thumb over my lips. “That mouth…”
He shook his head, shooting me a playful scowl before he stepped out of the cab.
I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth as it tingled from Leo’s callused finger. I shoved the empty cup into one of the holders and shifted to get out, almost falling over when the door opened as I reached for it.
I eyed Leo’s extended hand.
“This is sweet, but I can get out by myself—” My words faded at the heat in his eyes as they locked with mine.
“The cab is high, and I don’t want you to slip on the rocks. Maybe letting someone look out for you a little bit could be part of your vacation. I mean, I know trying to have fun is already taxing for you, but…” He trailed off, lifting a shoulder.
“Not taxing,” I said, a smile breaking across my face as I slid my palm against his and climbed out of the passenger seat. “It’s hard to get used to something that you know isn’t going to last.”
His features softened as he kept hold of my hand.
“Or you can just enjoy the moment,” he said, bringing our joined hands to his mouth and pressing a light kiss to my knuckles, pausing long enough for the warmth of his lips to travel down my legs. “Believe it or not, I’m having the same struggle.”
I thought his panty-melting grin would be my weakness, but his shy smile killed me.
How miserable was my life that I was mooning over someone buying me breakfast and offering me a hand out of a truck?
I’d be sad whenever this ended between us either way, so why not enjoy every moment for all it was worth?
