Page 49 of Starting Back
My stomach twisted at her innocent question. It was hard to match my sister-in-law’s joy over meeting someone special on my vacation when I was trying to get over the disappointment of probably never seeing or hearing from him again.
“I’m not. He lives in Florida. I have two kids at home and can’t do a long-distance relationship with someone I just met. Plus, he doesn’t do that.”
“Doesn’t do that? What do you mean?”
She turned to squint at me when we had to stop for traffic.
“He’s moved around a lot. He had a rough past, and he’s…unsettled. But…” I breathed out a long sigh and shifted toward the window.
“But what?”
“He was so amazing. Sweet and considerate and open. As you can imagine, that was a novelty for me.”
“And hot,” she added. “Nicole sent me the picture when I texted her to see how she was feeling.” I had to laugh at her dropped jaw. “You looked good together. It was cute how he pulled you into his side like that.”
I shrugged, looking back out the window. There were no palm trees or views of a sandy horizon. I was back home, and this was reality—or it would be when I saw my girls.
I couldn’t help the guilt triggered by the sad pang in my gut as my mind kept drifting to what Leo might be doing now.
“It’s better not to keep in touch.”
“Who are you trying to convince, you or me?” Her brows shot up as she kept her eyes on the road. “What’s upsetting you?”
“It’s ridiculous that I miss him since I hardly knew him to begin with.”
“You connected. Sometimes that just happens. It’s a mix of chemistry and fate, sort of like your brother and me.” Her smile turned wistful. “That inexplicable pull and the rush when you’re just in the same room together.”
I laughed at her audible sigh.
“I’m serious. Finding someone who makes you feel that way is everything, and there’s no right time frame for it to happen. Not everyone experiences that, so even if you turn out to be right and nothing comes of it, consider yourself lucky. Instalove is like being struck by lightning.”
I snickered at her raised brow.
“Love is not what happened. You and Jake are just so disgustingly in love that you force it on people.”
“No. I mean, while that’s true, it sounds like you had something special for however long it was, so you don’t have to downplay being sad that it may be over.”
“Itisover. I asked to keep in touch, and he didn’t seem all that interested. Look, let’s call it what it was. He paid attention to me. I wasn’t used to that, so my emotions are confused. And he wasveryattentive, with everything.”
Peyton bunched up her shoulders as if she were about to scream.
“I have a strong feeling you’ll see him again—somehow. I bet you’re wrong that you won’t hear from him.”
“I’d be surprised,” I said with a yawn, fatigue slamming into me thanks to the confusing concoction of feelings and lack of sleep. We had been too busy getting reacquainted and then saying goodbye to get any rest last night. The sad intensity of it all drained me.
The bittersweet memories of my time with Leo made all the unexpected and confusing heartache worth it.
“Maybe this is supposed to be like aBridges of Madison Countytype of thing. You know, something beautiful that’s not meant to be.”
That movie always made me cry. Why didn’t she just leave to be with the real love of her life? But now that I was an adult and had responsibilities that took precedence over epic romance, I pitied Meryl Streep’s character even more.
“They were together in the end, if you remember.”
“No, they weren’t,” I said, rolling my eyes at my sister-in-law. “Sharing the same final resting place isn’t being together.”
“Semantics.” She shrugged as she pulled into my driveway behind my car.
An odd relief washed over me at finally being home. My boring gray shutters almost seemed vibrant, and I smiled at the new additions to Emma’s rock garden along the walkway.
