Page 44 of The Mysterious Case of the Alperton Angels
Amanda Bailey
BTW if it isn’t Gabriel, who is this mystery interviewee you’ve got that I’ll never know about?
Oliver Menzies
HA HA! I KNEW you wouldn’t forget that! I KNEW it! Love winding you up, Mandy, you’re so transparent.
Meeting between Amanda Bailey and Oliver Menzies in a pub, after their visit to Alperton, 3 July 2021. Transcribed by Ellie Cooper.
[It seems to start in the middle of a conversation. Are you secretly recording him? EC]
OM:Then towards the end of the process, I saw this other side to him. He suddenly hated the draft. Would call me at all hours. Make threats that weren’t threats, but they were. When I tried to escalate my concerns he played the PTSD card. With his military training and all the stuff we had to leave out about him killing civilians, no one wanted to confront his behaviour. They were shit scared! He’d hinted all along he had connections in MI5, MI6 and MI-so-secret-no-one-knows-the-number. Did I mention, that call I got at quarter to five in the morning? Thought it was Mum’s care home. Well, not only was ithim, but he now calls meeverymorning at quarter to five.Everymorning the phone rings, creepy rasping sounds when I answer.
AB:Switch your phone off. [He must shake his head here. EC] Why not?
OM:Landline. I have to answer or it keeps ringing. I could unplug it or get the whole thing taken away, but a legal friend says to log all the calls so there’s a decent stack of evidence for future action. I’ve had to print out digital copies of all my correspondence with him, every email, every message,andprint out every single one of my WhatsApp convos over two years. Might as well have chopped down a whole tree.
AB:Do you know for sure it’s him?
OM:Yes!The number’s withheld but who else? He’s a brainwashed, OCD pedant, with no empathy and a good working knowledge of secret comms. He gets up at three thirty every morning to stand on his head for an hour. He has zero respect for the rules of engagement. Laughed about gouging out the eyes of soldiers they’d captured in Afghanistan. Who else would it be?
AB:He stands on his head then calls you. Every morning?
OM:I’m part of his routine now. Then there’s Frank the friendly bobby. He’s another story. Mand, I don’t want to spend yearsslaving away just so these brick-headed oafs who left school at fifteen can post on Twitter that their teachers said they’d come to nothing but now they’ve written a book. I want to do it on my own. I can do it. I thought this would be it. Then suddenly I’m shackled toyouof all people.
AB:Thanks.
OM:You know what I mean. You’re so fucking focused.
AB:Am I?
OM:Yes, it’s annoying.
AB:Have another shot. [He makes a groaning noise, is he drunk? EC] You OK, Ol?
OM:Yeah, yeah. Since starting this. Not connected to anything, just suddenly, I feel nauseous and …
AB:Panic attacks? Deadline dread. [I think he might be a bit pissed, Mand. EC]
OM:Doesn’t feel like panic.
AB:This pub could be a vortex of supernatural activity. You’re a sensitive spiritual portal, remember.
OM:Found the baby yet? [Do you shrug or something? EC] It’s all gone quiet over there.
AB:Takes time to sort out. Lawyers. Back and forth.
OM:Bullshit. You haven’t found it. No one’s squealing. You’re winging it.
AB:Everyone’s ‘winging it’ all the time … Remember when we were atThe Informer?
OM:Oh God,thatshitshow …
AB:You were like a snail in the headlights.
OM:I was navigating an inadequate training programme. Like we all were.
AB:Inadequate? You know where Louisa is now?
