Page 64 of The Mysterious Case of the Alperton Angels
OM:Monks! Monks!
AB:I know. Ssh. [Whoa! Wailing! That’s real shivers-down-the-spine stuff. EC]
OM:Shit, that’s eerie.
AB:Sext. It’s twelve o’clock. There’s a schedule of devotional services the monks observe throughout the day. If he’s here, this is where he’ll be. Now. Quick. [The chanting is louder. Very creepy. EC]
OM:Who are those guys going into the roped-off area? Can’t be monks. That dude’s wearing a Tommy Hilfiger hoodie.
AB:Must be the ordinary men here for a spiritual retreat.
OM:They get a ring-side seat. I can barely see the monks from here.
AB:The retreat guys are stepping over the rope. You can follow them. Go on.
OM:It says ‘no entry’. They’ll know I’m not one of them. I’ll get zapped by God.
AB:They won’t say anything while prayers are going on. If they do, apologise, say you made a mistake. Get a good look at the monks. See if any could be our man. [Some of this chanting is in Latin. Sorry, can only transcribe in English. I’ll call the next speaker Unknown Monk. EC]
UM:The wicked have waited for me, to destroy me. But I have understood your sayings. All that seems perfect has its limits. But the perfection of your commands is boundless. [I looked this up. It’s Psalm 118 or 9 depending on which Bible you have.EC] Glory be to the Father and the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
When Oliver moved to sit with the retreat group, we switched to WhatsApp. Our messages are inserted here:
Amanda Bailey
Nicely done. You look just like them.
Oliver Menzies
Who?
Amanda Bailey
The spiritual retreat guys. What can you see from there?
Oliver Menzies
Monks, but not many. NINE including the one talking.
Amanda Bailey
Any mid-thirties?
Oliver Menzies
Second from left. And far right, by the lectern. Thoughts?
Amanda Bailey
Can’t see a thing beyond where you’re sitting.
Oliver Menzies
Must put phone away – unholy glances from spiritual dudes.
[A lot more chanting and singing. Some clanging and footsteps. EC]
UM:For you are my strength and you are my refuge. Rescue me from the hands of the wicked. From the power of the unjust. The lawbreakers. For my enemies have been watching me, they have come together and discussed me. [Crash! OMG what was that? Are you both OK? Long pause while something happens. I can’t quite make it out. EC]
