Page 9 of Diamonds in the Dark
I look for a way to change the subject. I hate seeing him hurting and he seems to be withdrawing bit by bit from me. I, being selfish, am enjoying his company too much to let that happen. “You said you were trained by the military; do you still serve?” I ask, hoping this will pull him back to me.
“I am retired now so to speak. I served four tours in Iraq, now I am on leave, but I doubt I will be going back,” he responds.
“Wow, I have never known anyone who has been in the military.”
He chuckles. “Well, now you do and trust me, we are not anything extraordinary. We are people just like everyone else. It’s a job we chose to do, just like everyone else.”
I can’t help but smile a little at his modesty.
“No, I think it makes you a hero to be willing to offer up your life to protect us citizens and our country. No matter what you may believe.” I look over at him to judge his reaction. I see he is smiling a little, so I continue.
“I know I would never be able to do something like that. It would be terrifying to me. I am not that generous of myself. I guess that makes me sound quite self-centered, but it’s the truth. There has to be something amazing and special in someone like you to be able to handle that life and to be that giving of yourself.”
Smiling, he looks over at me, that smile melts me inside all over again in a way I never thought possible. What is it with this guy and his smile? Why does it affect me so much?
“If you say so, I don’t consider the motive behind my going into the Army a heroic move. It was my way of being selfish, a way to escape and pursue a life different from my parents’ expectations for me. I loved it though. I just wish there were things I could go back and change, but everyone has those thoughts about their past, don’t they?” He looks away now and seems to be lost in his own thoughts again.
I decide not to push him anymore on that subject either. I realized right then and there this is a complicated man, with emotions and hurts that run deep. He has a lot of baggage he is carrying around on his shoulders. He will talk when he is ready. We walk along in silence a bit more. Every now and then I get a whiff of his cologne, a nice woodsy fragrance that isn’t too strong and it is fitting to the man who is wearing it. I am enjoying every minute with him, even when there isn’t any conversation going on. It is comforting in some bizarre way that I don’t understand.
Asher finally brings himself back to the here and now, he reaches over and touches my arm.
“Hey, by the way, I have been meaning to tell you that I really adore the hat.”
“Really now?” I ask with a hint of mockery.
“Yeah, it's, what’s the word I am looking for? It’s rustic looking,” he grins.
“Rustic? Did you just describe my hat as rustic?” I question him with a look of shock on my face.
Laughing, he says. “Why sure, that is a description for all fabulous fashion trends nowadays. Didn’t you know that?”
I shake my head. “I think you are enjoying making fun of my hat. In truth, you only like it because it decided on its own freewill, we needed to meet,” I say, blushing a little.
“That is precisely why I like it. Because of that hat, you took notice of me and talked to me,” he says smiling that heart-melting smile. “I didn't know it at the time, but thankfully your magic hat knew I needed a friend,” he says.
At a complete loss for words, I just look at him and smile. I am thankful for my hat too at this moment, no matter how much I loathe it, it may have just become my most favorite fashion accessory.
“I think it knew I needed a friend too, Asher. As my new friend, you should know this is not my usual fashion statement. I have been wearing this hideous thing because I lost my sunglasses. I keep forgetting to pick up a new pair. To beat it all, I lost them in my own home, well, at least I think I did. I have looked everywhere for them, it's like they skipped town and didn't leave me a forwarding address. I usually only use this hat when gardening or doing something outside,” I tell him.
“Well, that is a gigantic relief,” he lets out an overly exaggerated sigh. “I was somewhat worried, to be frank with you. I would hate to think that if I ever decided to take you out in public, somewhere besides here of course, that the hat was going too. It may be too classy for some people. They might even gawk in envy at us for having the pleasure of such a hat in our company.” he says, sounding dead serious. I get a case of the giggles and lightheartedly slap him on the arm.
“Okay, it's official you are a smart ass,” I laugh.
He starts laughing. “Oh, it gets worse the longer you know me.”
“Isn’t that how it typically goes? It's all nice and sweet until you really get to know someone,” I say with a laugh.
We walk a while longer, talking about different things and enjoying each other’s companionship. Our conversation flows so easily from one topic to another, that it’s like talking with an old friend. The only thing that bothers me is a minor nagging in the back of my head reminding me that he has some massive issues. When he starts talking about himself, he quickly changes the subject back to me or to something else entirely, but he said he needed a friend, and I could use one as well. The plus side is, I am genuinely enjoying his company.
My cell phone starts vibrating in my pocket, and I grab it. Looking at the screen, I see it is Becca. I feel disappointed at the interruption, but I know I must answer it. “Shit,” I say aloud as I look at the time, it’s ten minutes after one o’clock and I am late for our lunch date. I answer it with “I am on my way now.” Becca laughs and says “Okay, I thought perhaps you forgot about me.”
“Nope, I sure didn't.” I say, lying through my teeth. I got so caught up in spending time with Asher, I forgot all about our lunch date. “I will be there in ten minutes.” I hang up, looking at Asher. “I am sorry. I have let time escape me. I did not realize I had been here this long. I have a lunch date with my best friend.”
He smiles, “No problem. Let me walk you to your car.”
As we walk, we don’t say much, almost as if the spell has been broken between us. But, at the same time I know that’s not what it is. We are both dreading having to end our time together, if even just for today. When we get to my car, he opens the car door for me. I reach in to start the ignition and turn back to him. He smiles at me and reaches for my hand.
“Gwen, I enjoyed today. I just want you to know that. It has been a long time since I have felt…anything close to happiness, and today, I felt something that reminded me of it. Thank you for spending the morning with me,” he says.
