Page 2 of Diamonds in the Dark
“Okay, Gwen, what’s going on?” He asks as he takes his seat behind his desk. For a second I am at a loss for words. I just sit there helplessly staring at my coffee. George stays quiet and lets me take my time. It all catches up to me and tears start to roll down my face. Everything just starts flowing out of me. I pour it all out to him, even down to me confronting Celia and Edward. It feels good to let it all out to someone. He's quiet for a minute, and I have a fleeting thought that he's going to fire me. I’m not sure that Edward and I are going to be able to work in the same building. It's possible we wouldn't see each other much, unless George and Edward were working on a case together, which would rarely, if ever, happen.
George finally says. “Gwen, come here.” He stands and takes me into his big, fatherly arms and hugs me until the tears and shaking sobs stop. After I finally get a hold of myself, he lets me go and I thank him. I take back to my seat as he goes back to his. We sit in silence for a few more minutes, and finally, George sighs.
“Gwen.” he says, bringing my attention back to him. “I am glad you have ended your relationship with Edward, and I know it may hurt right now, but I believe in the end, it's the best move you could have made for yourself. You don't need a man-child like him in your life, let alone as your husband. Edward has been a problem in the firm for far too long, even before you came to work for me. I am surprised some women haven't complained or pressed charges yet, with the way he carries on. If the firm keeps turning a blind eye to the things he does, he will continue to act the way he does and continue to be a problem. I am sorry he did this to you. It breaks my heart and I want you to know, I am here for you. I will do whatever I need to, to keep you with this firm and as my secretary. I’m just sorry you ever had to meet a man like Edward Clark. Unfortunately, the founder of the firm does not see Edward as a threat. He just sees him as a young man with ‘issues to work through’ and thinks Edward is a brilliant attorney, which I don't disagree with. He is a brilliant attorney, but his ethics are way off base. Of course, we both know that the founder is also his uncle. If it were anyone else, Edward would not remain with this firm.”
I look up at George and say, “Edward is only brilliant because he can lie through his teeth and has a great poker face.”
Chuckling, George agrees. We sit for a minute not saying anything. I believe George is just letting me have some time to think things through and I am thankful.
I have a lot of decisions I need to make now. I need to get all my stuff out of Edward’s house. I only moved in with him about 3 months ago after listening to Edward complain for two years that he didn't understand why I wouldn't just move in with him and sell my condo. The reason was simple. I enjoyed having my own home and being alone sometimes. His house has never felt like a home to me, even after I moved in. He has it set up more for showing and bragging than for living in and comfort. I hate it. I also need to call the seamstress back and let her know I won’t be there for my appointment this evening. I will also let her know I don't care what she does with the dress. Maybe she can find someone who needs it, I don't want it back.
Finally, I pull myself out of my own head.
“George, can I have the rest of the day off?” I ask.
Yes, you can. I was thinking that you need it off to gather yourself and to do whatever you need to do to completely remove Edward from your life. My wife and I are going on vacation for two weeks starting next week. I was going to give you some busy work to do around here, but I was thinking, why don't you just work from home the rest of this week and the two weeks we are gone. You can take those off as well. It will give you some time to yourself. It will be paid time off, of course. After that, then we will discuss the matter of you coming back.”
I agree and thank him as I stand and leave his office. The first thing I do is go to my office and call the seamstress back. I keep it brief. “I won't be there for my appointment” … “no, I don't want to reschedule. Please keep the dress and find a bride that can use it.” At least Edward refused to allow my dad to pay for our wedding. He wanted to be in control of it all so he could make it into a show, just like his house. Now, he's the one out of at least five thousand dollars, just for the dress alone. That makes me smile!
I grab my purse from underneath my desk and head to my car. I know Edward won't be home until later today because of the important meeting he has this afternoon, the one I interrupted this morning. I start driving towards his house. I want to get all my stuff out today. The last thing I want, or need is him there with me while I am trying to get my things together and out of that house. I am also thankful that my condominium hasn't sold yet. I can just call the realtor and tell them to take it off the market. It still has all my furniture in it, so I am going home. I call my best friend, Becca, and tell her a condensed version of what's going on. She's happy I'm finally leaving Edward. She hates him. She eagerly agrees to meet me at the house to help me get all my stuff and my cat, Sam.
My phone starts ringing the minute I hang up with Becca. I look over at the screen. Seriously? It's already Edward calling. I am not answering. I need to get my stuff and close this chapter of my life.
I pull into the driveway and push the remote to open the garage door. I pull my car into the garage since it will be easier to just take everything out that way and load it straight into my car. I unset the alarm system as I walk into the kitchen. I look around and realize I will not miss living here at all. It's simply not home, and now, never will be.
I run upstairs and start grabbing my clothes from the closet and drawers, being sure to leave the trashy clothes Edward bought me hanging in the closet. They still have the price tags attached. I take my clothes out to my car and cram the trunk full. They will all need to be re-washed or ironed, but I don't care at this point. I just want to get this done and over with as fast as I can. Sam, my black cat, who thinks he is a miniature black panther, is following me around, curious about what I am doing. Becca walks into the garage as I am cramming the last of my clothes in the trunk. I decided to fill her in with the extended version of the story and tell her everything as we move on to the bathroom, gathering up my makeup and toiletries. We then slowly walk through the house gathering random boxes of mine that have never been unpacked. Becca is fuming when I am finished telling her the whole story. I must stop her a few times from breaking Edward’s things.
Finally, I think we are finished, but decide to do one more quick walk through just to make sure. When I walk out that door, I never want to look back at this chapter in my life. As we are walking through for the last time, I jerk pictures of me and Edward from the walls and fireplace mantle and throw them on the floor, enjoying the sound of the glass shattering from the frames as each one hits the hardwood flooring. I finish with one and walk to the next, repeating the process with each one. It is such a satisfying feeling. Becca says nothing as I do this but makes sure she steps on each one that I throw down to assure all the frames are destroyed.
When we are finished, I grab Sam’s food and water bowl and dump his litter box in the trash can, hoping it makes the house stink. I purposely leave the lid to the trash can up so the litter has time to release all of Sam's wonderful, stenchy smells. I take them out to the car and stuff them in the backseat. Meanwhile, Becca breaks everything she can get her hands on in the kitchen, including Edward’s prized China, while I am out of the room. So much for trying to control Becca. Sam doesn't seem to be fazed at all by Becca's outburst of destruction and stands in the middle of the kitchen watching her as if they are partners in crime. I get him into his cat carrier and talk to him softly to keep him calm as we put him in the front seat of the car so I can talk to him during the ride. Becca grabs me up in a hug and tells me she will follow me home and help me unpack and get settled in. I agree and thank her. I get in my car and let out a sigh of relief. It's finally over. I back out of the driveway and drive away. I don't even have the desire to look back at what was almost my future.
Chapter 3
Gwen
I pull in front of the garage at my condo and park. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am finally home again. Becca pulls in right behind me, and we start carrying some of my more important stuff into my home, including Sam. We start the grueling task of putting it all away. I will put the rest in the garage until I have the time and want to put it up. I am running on pure adrenaline at this point, and I know I am going to crash eventually. But for now, I am letting my anger fuel me. Becca lets Sam out of his carrier, and he is wandering around, getting reacquainted with the place. I think Sam and I are both happy to be home.
My cell phone has rung five times since I left the office, and every call has been from Edward. I have let them go to voicemail. I cannot grasp why he would think I would want to talk to him. Does he not understand what he has done? I just don't understand the way his mind works. And after his little spill today, blaming me for his cheating, I really don't understand him.
As I walk through putting my things away, I am glad to be back in my own home, where I can have my things out, instead of them sitting in storage boxes everywhere. That's one reason so much of my stuff was still packed. Edward had to approve of everything I did in his house, including mingling anything that came from my home with his. He claimed most of my stuff was too junky to be displayed. He inherited his house from his dad. Then, he hired a professional to come in and decorate it specifically for entertaining guests.
I bought this place four years ago and I saved up for a year by living with my parents so I would have a decent down payment. I was so proud to be twenty-three years old and buying my own home! Now at almost twenty-eight, at least I have my home, even if my whole future just changed in the blink of an eye.
I stand in the middle of the kitchen realizing I have absolutely no food or drinks, not even coffee. “Sorry Becca, all I have to drink is water from the faucet if you want some.” She laughs, “I'm good.” and holds up a huge styrofoam cup that I assume has tea in it since that is her drink of choice. I will have to go to the store at some point, but I decide that for right now I just need a relaxing bath in my jetted tub. Becca asks if there is anything else she can do and I tell her no, that she needs to go home to her boyfriend, Tommy. I reassure her I will be fine and just need time to regroup. We hug and she tells me to just get myself together and that we will have lunch on Wednesday after I have had time to rest and reset. Then, we can talk about everything. She informs me she has a lot to say, but she doesn't feel right now is the time with everything being so raw. I agree and thank her for being with me today and helping me. “No thanks are needed,” she tells me as she walks out the door. I love her so much; she's like a sister to me. I couldn't ask for a better friend.
I rinse out the tub since it hasn't been used in a while. I start running my bathwater exactly how I like it, burning hot and steamy. If my body doesn't look like a steamed lobster when I get out of the tub, then my water wasn’t hot enough. I walk out in the hall to my linen closet and grab my favorite bubble bath that smells just like coconuts and bananas. I pour some in and strip my clothes off, kicking them into the corner where a hamper is supposed to be. I will have to remember to put one back there. I slip slowly into the water allowing the heat and smell to take over all my stress and caress my body. I faintly hear my phone ringing from the kitchen where I left it, but I don't care. I just want to let my mind go blank for just a little while and put this day behind me.
My water starts losing its heat, in fact it's actually getting cold and the skin on my hands is wrinkled like a prune. I get out, dry myself off, wrap myself in a towel, and head down the hall to my bedroom. I hear my phone ringing again in the distance. I have lost count of how many times it has rung today. I know at some point; I am going to have to get it and check my missed calls and voicemails in case someone besides Edward has called. I sit on my bed and everything from today hits me like a ton of bricks. I don't think I have ever been this hurt in my life, except when my mom died, and that is a completely different kind of hurt.
Edward was my first “real” boyfriend. Sure, I had been on plenty of dates, but I always seemed to attract the wrong type of men. I usually knew by the end of the first date that the guy was not the one I would want to spend another hour with, let alone the rest of my life. Instead of wasting my time and theirs, I wouldn't pursue another date. More times than not, these dates felt like a chore to get through them. Then, I started working at Mason and Clark, and like a wrecking ball, in came Edward.
I was honestly scared to death to get into a relationship with Edward because of his reputation at the office. He was a known womanizer. I was young and naive when I met him. I should have known better than to get caught up in his shenanigans, but I was attracted to him instantly and he played the game so well. He was able to slither right into my life without me thinking too much about it. Given all the warning signs and all the rumors that flew around about him, I should have run away as fast as I could, yet I played the part of the village idiot to a tee. I ran straight into his arms like some damsel in distress.
He was a catch, or so I thought at the time. Money, personality, and he was the best-looking man I had ever laid my eyes on. Just looking at him made my knees weak and my heart skipped a beat. His silky, black, licorice colored hair and tantalizing, sea green eyes mesmerized me and could make me breathless with just one glance in my direction. He started slow by showering me with little gifts and giving me the type of attention, I had been looking for from a man. He was gentle and sweet. He was so different from the men I usually went out with, being a little older, he was more mature and experienced. Maybe that was another reason he was so enticing to me. I was in awe of him. Even when I knew every woman employee in the large law firm, we both worked for had either slept with him or had pleased him in one way or another, I still found him irresistible. I heard the rumors daily about who his flavor of the week was. I would have had to be deaf not to. I had even seen a few of his advances on women with my own eyes in the brief time I had worked there. That was before he turned his attention to me. I envied those women at the time. I was so naive, and it is embarrassing to think about it now.
When he finally got around to pursuing me, I thought we could have something different. Maybe there was something special about me that would make him change. I ignored all the warning signs and the whispers at the office. I gave myself to him completely. I guess in a way, we did have something different. We did have a relationship that was more than just a quick one-week affair, as was his usual. We were together for five years. For five years I dealt with his lies, his cheating, and him trying to control my life, which frustrated him because I may have believed his lies and looked the other way on his cheating, only because I wanted to believe it wasn’t really happening. I wasn't easy to control. He would have liked me to be submissive and just let him take complete control of everything. I am not that kind of person. He wanted complete control of my career, my wardrobe, my money, and my friends. I wouldn't allow it and most of the fights we had in our 5 years together were because he claimed I was stubborn and that a man should be in control. Why didn't I walk away years ago? I am afraid that is going to be a question I am going to be asking myself for the rest of my life.
When he asked me to marry him, my dad was ready to pay for the wedding, no questions asked, even though my dad didn't care for him. My dad just wanted me happy and if Edward made me happy, he wasn't going to argue. Edward wouldn't hear of my dad paying and demanded that he was paying for it. He wanted control, he didn't want me and my dad doing a “cheap” wedding as he called it. He wanted his family and friends to be impressed, and no expense spared. I am sure all his friends and family will be wonderfully impressed with the wedding now! It should be amazing with a missing bride. I feel like I just woke up to what has really been going on after living in a fairytale that was in my own mind.
