Page 12 of Diamonds in the Dark
“No, everything has been said and done Edward. You need to listen to me and really listen to what I am telling you. I have nothing to say to you and there is nothing you can say that will make me change my mind this time. I loved you and wanted so much to be able to trust you. You broke me in every way a man can break a woman. There is no going back from this. I am finished with ‘us. If I had been smart, and not so fragile, weak, and gullible, I would never have fallen for you in the first place. I allowed you to be what you are and always turned a blind eye to it. I cannot do it anymore. There is nothing you can say or do that can change what you have done or how you have made me feel. It is officially over, and you need to accept it and stop this craziness. Just move on and leave me alone.”
He stands there looking somewhat defeated, or more than likely just catching his second wind. This man does not get beaten at anything. He has been given his way his whole life and I know he isn't just going to let this go, but he does seem to be speechless for the moment. His mouth is hanging slightly open. The smell of alcohol assaults my nose. It’s the pungent smell of hard liquor, not just beer. He hasn’t had just a drink, no, he is shitfaced drunk. A shiver of fear goes up my spine. I start to shut the door and he throws his hand up and pushes it back open so hard it hits the wall inside.
“Gwendolyn, please… please can we just talk inside. I think I need to sit down,”he says, as he staggers and almost loses his footing
Firmly, I tell him, “No, if you need to sit down, feel free to sit right where you are on the porch. I can call you a cab. I don’t think you need to drive again in the condition you are in. You are not coming inside my home.” I start to close the door again.
He looks up at me and smirks. “Who in the hell do you think you are Gwendolyn? Telling me what kind of condition I am in. I will drive however I want. I’m not drunk, I am tired of your bullshit argument that is just getting old.” He grabs the door and slams it back open. “You know you want me, and you know you can’t leave me, not for long anyway. I am not riding in no fucking cab. I am not leaving here tonight. Not until you get off your high horse and talk to me damn it!” He yells at me.
I watch as his face turns red. He is beyond mad. I just want to go in the house and shut the door on this whole situation. I can see he will not leave without causing a scene, which will make my neighbors call the police if someone hasn't already with his last outburst of yelling. As much as I would love for them to take him away from my door and from my life, I am not particularly enthused with having to deal with all the questions the police will ask.
“Okay, Edward, look, you can sit out here on the porch or do whatever you want to do. I’m tired and I do not want to deal with all of this tonight. You are not coming in with me and I am done with this conversation. I am going inside. You can figure out how you are going to get home, and if you choose to drive, I will call the police the minute I hear your car start and let them deal with your drunk ass. I am done here, goodnight.”
I turn to go inside, when I feel fingers digging painfully into my shoulder dragging me back. Suddenly, I am slammed up against my own door and Edward is right in my face, nose to nose.
“Look here you fucking ungrateful little bitch. I am not leaving here. I am staying right where I am, here with you and if you think you are done with me, you have lost your fucking mind. You are mine!” he yells in my face. He pushes me harder against the door. I can't move and I know I should never have answered my door. I am now scared, and he is in complete control of the situation. He rams his jean clad knee hard against my genitalia. It's painful and I want to scream, but I can't find my voice. He whispers in my ear, “You know you like that my little slut. By the end of the night, you will like everything I do to you. You will never leave me again, do you understand? You are mine and I am going to show you just how mine you are. I own you and by the end of the night you will know that by me owning you, you will not get by with defying me ever again.”
One hand goes around my neck squeezing hard while the other one grabs my left breast. My only protection is my thin pajamas and that's not much. He squeezes it so hard I want to scream out, but he is putting so much pressure on my throat all I can get out are little sighing noises. He is panting in my ear, and it sounds like a dog that’s been left out in the heat with no water for hours. He rams his knee harder into my sex. A pain sears my pubic area like a white flame. “You like that don’t you? My little bitch, it makes you want to cum on my knee. I know you are getting wet under those pants. You better not cum now though. You better save it all for my dick because you are going to get it like you know you want it tonight. I am going to fuck you until you are begging me to stop. The same way you have made me beg for just a fucking minute of your precious time. I want you to know what it's like to have to beg.”
I am trying my best to stay calm. I know if I panic, he will get his way. He is seriously planning to rape me; I think to myself…If he doesn't choke me to death first. His grasp on my neck gets tighter and I find it getting harder to breathe. His breath is sour from the alcohol he has been drinking. I feel vomit rising in my stomach from a combination of the smell and the panic I am feeling. I want to fight him, but I can't move. He is at a complete advantage.
His fingers start pulling at my thin pajama bottoms. They are loose anyway, so I know it’s not going to take much for him to get exactly what he is after. He is so drunk; I think he wouldn’t care to just rape me right here against my open door. He is beyond caring who witnesses his attack on me. I don't know if he even realizes we are in the doorway. I don't know where he is in his mind right now. I feel his hand inside my pants grabbing and poking at me, his other hand still squeezing my neck and the full weight of his body has me pinned to the door. The panic I am feeling is making me almost numb and I am not sure how much longer I can keep from passing out from not being able to breathe but only small gasps of air.
My pants finally fall around my ankles. His free hand, which isn’t around my neck, is all over me. He continues touching, probing, and fondling, and it hurts. He is grinding his hardness through his pants against my pubic area hard. I feel him quake and shudder and I think he just got off in his own pants. I have lost all care at what he is doing to me. I am just trying to concentrate on getting air and praying he will let me go soon. Each second, he is squeezing my neck tighter, and I am getting less and less air. My world is getting darker and smaller. I am fixing to lose consciousness. It feels like I am floating, and I can no longer feel what Edward is doing to me.
Like a voice in a dream, I hear someone scream, “Hey, Edward! What the hell do you think you are doing to her? Get the hell away from her you asshole.” Edward lets go of me and turns to see who is yelling at him. I fall to the ground gasping for air, only half dressed. I look behind Edward to see who just saved my life and get a glimpse of Becca’s boyfriend, Tommy, before I pass out cold.
Chapter 11
Gwen
As I gradually start to come around, I hear voices surrounding me. I can’t put a face to anyone voice. I wish they would all leave. I don’t know why they are here or who invited them. My head is killing me, and I am confused, kind of like coming out of a dream, but knowing you are awake. I just want to drag myself up the stairs to my room and get into my bed. I am so tired and sore. I lay here on the floor for a few more minutes refusing to open my eyes. I try to figure out why my house sounds like it is full of people, why everyone is talking at once and why I am lying on the floor in my entryway.
I feel someone touch my neck and everything rushes back all at once, pure panic surges through me. I jerk my entire body up into a sitting position in one swift move and start screaming. I want to stop but I can’t. It's like I have no control over myself. Some guy, in a blue uniform that I don’t know, is bent down beside me, trying to get me to calm down. At last, my ear-piercing scream stops, and I just sit there trembling. I hear someone, that I can’t see, say that I am in shock. My throat feels like it is on fire and my neck hurts so bad it's almost unbearable.
The guy trying to calm me down, moves from beside me to in front of me so he can make eye contact. I then realize he is an EMT. He talks in a soothing voice to me as if I am an infant, explaining they are going to take me to the hospital. I shake my head no; I am not going. I remember Tommy being here and stopping Edward. In a hoarse little whisper, I say, “Tommy”. The EMT yells across the room, “Is anyone named Tommy here?” I hear running and then I see him coming towards me.
“Hey, Gwen, I’m right here, are you okay, honey? I called Becca and she is on her way over here.” I shake my head and start crying. In a whisper because that’s all I can manage at the moment, I tell Tommy, “I don’t want to go to the hospital and Becca needs to stay home. The baby.” Tommy shakes his head and snorts.
“Seriously, Gwen, do you think she is really going to sit at home with you in this condition? Look. I will tell them that you don’t want to go to the hospital, but you must promise me that you will go for us if anything comes up after they leave. Also, Gwen, the police are going to want to talk to you.”
I look down between my legs and start crying. Tommy sits down beside me and just holds me as I lose it entirely. I realize I am still sitting on the floor, where I collapsed after Tommy got Edward to let me go. Thank God someone had pulled my pants back up. I assume it was Tommy, but I am not going to ask. That's embarrassing. It doesn't matter anyway, at least Edward was stopped from what he was trying to do to me.
A police officer with the last name Hanks walks over to where we are sitting on the floor. He wants a statement from both of us. I ask Tommy to help me to the couch. We can sit there and talk to the officer. Tommy asks him if my statement can wait until I am in a more stable condition. Officer Hanks explains that he wants what he can get from me tonight while it’s still fresh in my mind, if at all possible. “I can do it”. I inform them both. Tommy slowly helps me out of the floor and to the couch.
“Tommy, if you don’t care can you get me a glass of water,” I ask. My throat is on fire, and I am hoping the water will soothe it while I talk to the officer. I am also finding it hard to find a comfortable position to hold my head so that it doesn't hurt my neck, but I don’t dare complain. I am afraid the EMT’s will come and try to take me to the hospital. I just want to be here in my own home, so that once this circus that is going on here is over, I can go get in my own bed and be left alone.
As I am about to finish walking Officer Hanks through the events of the night, trying not to leave out any details that I can remember, I hear my name being yelled. I get up and run toward the voice, throwing myself into Becca’s arms as she walks in the door. She holds me tight and kisses my forehead over and over trying to reassure me it is all going to be okay.
Officer Hanks walks over to me and Becca and tells me that is all he needs, for tonight at least. He advises me to get a good night's sleep or at least rest and keep my talking to a minimum until some of the tenderness in my throat goes away. I thank him as I shut the door and sigh. I turn and look at Tommy and Becca. At this moment, I could not love any two people more. They are my guardian angels. I am truly blessed to have them in my life.
Becca pulls me into her arms again for another hug and then shoos me over to the couch demanding I sit down and relax while she makes me a hot cup of tea with honey in it. She explains that the honey might help soothe my throat. I don't complain. I am willing to try anything at the moment. My throat feels like there is a bonfire burning in it. There is a knock on the door. I put my hands up over my face dreading who else it could be. Becca jogs over and opens it wide and I hear an all too familiar voice. “Where is she?” I jump up and run across the room and crash into my dad’s open arms and lose what little is left of my composure. I let it all out in the comfort of my dad's arms.
I pull myself back together and ask Dad how he knew. Becca walks back in the room carrying me and my dad both a hot tea with Tommy trailing behind her with theirs. Becca speaks up, “I called him of course, he is your dad and he needed to know what was going on and to be here with you too.”
Dad and I sit on the couch while Becca and Tommy sit on the loveseat. We all sit in silence, for a few minutes, sipping our tea. I look at Tommy, “Thank you so much, for what you did. I don’t know what I would have done if you had not shown up at that exact moment. But I have to ask, why were you here?”
Tommy blushes and looks over at Becca, clearing his throat. “Well, I came by to show you something and to get your opinion. When I pulled up and saw what was going on, I just reacted.”
