Page 78 of The Burbs and the Bees
“Who was he?”
Chapter Fifteen
Alyson
I press my cheek to his chest and listen to the steady thump of his heart as we both come down from our orgasms. I’m not surprised by the question. Jay is a smart guy, one of the smartest guys I know. He put two and two together, and now this is where we are.
“His name was Bradley.”
“He hurt you,” he says, stating a fact.
I shift positions until I’m on my stomach, my hands on his chest, tucked under my chin. “I’m over it.”
“You sure?”
I shrug. I’m over Bradley, but his rejection was just another reminder that I have no purpose in life. “He’s in the past.”
“Do you mind if I ask what happened?”
I roll onto my back, and Jay shifts to face me, going up on one elbow.
“I guess I thought we’d get married, have the kids, the dog, the SUV.”
“That obviously didn’t happen.”
“I can’t get anything by you,” I say jokingly, but his eyes narrow. He’s not in a joking mood. “He put a ring on one of my best friends’ finger. I didn’t really see it coming.” I snap my fingers. “He broke it off with me, and within a week, they were engaged. I never want to be blindsided like that again. I don’t think I could handle it.”
“What a prick.”
I give a hard laugh. “That’s one of the nicer things I called him.”
My stomach growls, and Jay sits up, pushing our blankets to the foot of the bed. He tugs on a pair of sweatpants and hands me a pair, along with one of his T-shirts. I dress and follow him down the stairs to his kitchen.
“It was his loss, Alyson.”
My heart wobbles. “No one takes me seriously, Jay. I mess up everything I touch. Back home, everyone knows I’m a quitter, and here, everyone thinks I’m ridiculous.”
“You’re not ridiculous. You’re just a little lost, that’s all.”
I nod, and he grabs two bowls and fills them with cereal. He pours a generous amount of milk in and hands me a spoon. Ravenous, I dig in.
“You really like cereal, eh?” I say, using his Canadian vernacular, and it produces a small smile.
“Have you ever stopped to consider you can’t find your passion because you’re afraid of trying and messing up?”
I stare at him as his words bounce around in my brain. “What do you mean?”
“Life is complicated and messy. You have to put yourself out there and make mistakes. You have to break the rules sometimes, take some risks. But you don’t do that because you’re afraid to fail.”
I blink several times, then say, “I took a risk coming here.”
“You did. A big one. How does that feel?”
As his eyes narrow in on me, I say, “Scary.” I stare at the clock, watch the second hand tick. “Jay?”
“Yeah?”
“What if I fail?”
