Page 70 of Caught Up In You (Indigo Royal Resort)
Cullen sighed. Hearing her say that she believed him was such a relief. Maybe now they could have the conversation he’d been thinking about during his run.
“But that doesn’t mean she’s wrong.”
“What? Of course she was wrong to bribe someone to get into my rooms! That’s what stalkers do!”
“Not that,” Leona said calmly. “About what you need, and how it’s not me.”
Cullen couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did she just say that Felicity was right? Right about what? How could she have any idea what Cullen needed or wanted. He turned so that they were now sitting perpendicular to each other, but she still wouldn’t meet his gaze. She simply just stared out over the water.
“She said you needed someone who understood your life and your world. And that’s not me. My life, my world, is right here on St. Thomas. It’s running the housekeeping department at the Indigo Royal, helping raise Josef, and attempting to get my dad back on his feet. Yours is in London, or Liverpool, or Atlanta, or wherever the hell it is you live!” She threw her hands up in frustration and then hopped to her feet. She paced a few steps forward and abruptly turned around, finally looking him in the eye. “I don’t even know where you fucking live, Cullen! You don’t know where I live!”
“I’ve been to your house, Lee,” he reminded her calmly.
“No, you’ve been to my parents' house. I haven’t lived there since I graduated high school! You haven’t seen my place in the staff dorms. And I sure as hell can’t show you.”
“Why not?”
“Why not? Because it’s a fucking dorm room, Cullen! You’re one of the best athletes in the world—you can't be slumming it in a dorm!”
“First off, I’ve stayed in dorms. Second, I highly doubt anything on this resort is slumming it, as you put it. But that doesn’t matter to me if I’m with you. We could hang out in a bloody cardboard box for all I care!” he said, getting to his feet. He tried to get closer to her, but for every step he took, she took one back.
“We’re in over our heads, Cullen. This turned into way more than we intended and—”
“How do you know what I intended, Lee?”
“You know what I mean,” she said resignedly.
“No, I don’t! I have no idea what you are trying to tell me here!”
“We’re too different, Cullen—this has no future. You have your life. Your big, fancy, famous life, and I have mine. My simple, little, island life. And never the two shall meet.”
“That’s not true. Did you forget everything I told you about my childhood? We are not that different,” he reminded her.
“That’s who you were, not who you are. You left that little boy behind.”
“That little boy might not be someone I let everyone know about, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still a part of me.”
“That’s just it, Cullen. He might still be in there, but he’s not who you are now. He’s not part of the celebrity athlete.”
“I still have no idea what you are trying to tell me,” he said, trying to get closer again.
She turned away from him, pacing for a moment before looking back at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You need to get on with your life. I can accept that I was just a fling to pass the time on your vacation, and it sucks that it’s being cut short, but your real life is waiting for you.”
Cullen just stood there, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He wasn’t hearing this right. Her words were like a punch to his gut. She couldn’t really think that all she was to him was a fling, a way to pass the time. Their times together had been so much more than that.
“A fling. That’s what you think? Did you not believe me when I told you that you were never just another notch on my belt?”
“No, I believe you. But that doesn’t mean that there is anything to this, that there can be a future. That I can be what you need.”
“So these last few weeks have meant nothing to you?” He started pacing, if for no other reason than to help channel all his nervous energy. “All the time we’ve spent together? The boat ride? Time with your family? Josef? What about your brother?”
“Don’t bring him into this. This is about us,” she said, a new set of tears breaking through. His heart ripped in two all over again watching them roll down her cheeks.
“And spa room number three last night? Did that not mean anything either?”
“It was everything, Cullen! Fucking everything. I will always remember last night as the best night of my life,” she sobbed.
“Lee, amorzinho…” He stepped toward her again, reaching for her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and comfort her. Tell her it would be alright, that he would find a way to make this all work. He didn’t have the right words. He felt like everything he might say would just make things worse. But if he could hold her—if she could just hear his heart beating for her—she’d know that this was not what he wanted. That she was what he wanted.
