Page 8 of Late Night Talking
“Come on me,” I beg him, and he doesn’t hesitate. He pulls out of me, jerking himself a few times before coming across my stomach. He watches his fluids slide down my skin and then he falls onto the bed beside me, reaches up to undo the tie around my wrists, and pulls me in close to him before falling asleep.
Chapter Six
Iwake up before Finn does, when the light starts to change from navy to gray, and I watch him sleep for a long time. In the dark, his skin looks impossibly perfect, no sign of the freckles on his cheeks or the tiny cracks in his lips. I run my finger along his jaw, that hard and sharp part of him, and he stirs, his blue eyes opening and finding mine.
“Hey,” he says, rolling over onto his back and looking at me. He’s quiet, and I know he can feel it, the unease that’s moving around in my chest like a snake. All the thoughts I can’t seem to quiet down, even in the comfort of his arms. His eyes roam over my face, and one of his hands comes up to settle over one of the bite marks he left behind.
“I’m scared,” I finally let myself say. I’ve wanted to say it since I saw him at Guy Savoy and knew that he was there for me. When he was gone, I never asked myself if I did the right thing. Even though it ripped my heart from my chest, I knew it was the only way I could go on. But with him right here, I’m not really sure I know what the right thing to do is.
I don’t say any of this out loud, but I might as well have. Finn can tell. He can read it all on my face. He sits up, the blanket falling to his lap, and takes my face in his big hands.
“I swear to God, Devin. I swear to God, I’m not leaving again.”
I set one hand against his cheek and feel the heat of him there, the way he burns beneath the surface. “It almost killed me last time. I was always wondering if you were over there wishing you weren’t tied to me. I felt like I was a weight that was pulling you down.”
Something wet and warm slides down my finger, and I realize that Finn is crying. I’ve never seen Finn cry, but he’s crying now, his nose all red and his eyes all glassy, and I push the tears away with my hands. “You weren’t a weight,” he finally says, his voice thick. “Even after you broke it off, my body kept moving through this wretched life because I knew you still existed in it.”
I press my mouth to his. I don’t care if he has some big speech to get through. All I care about is that we’re together now. And I don’t care if I really do have to tie us together, I’m not leaving him again. I refuse to rip both of our hearts out like that again.
∞∞∞
Later, when we hear the front door open, Finn and I are still tangled together. We’ve showered and fucked and scoured the pantry for snacks and fucked again, and now my body feels like wet spaghetti. I’m grateful that it’s my day off work, but Finn has been making grumbling sounds for the last ten minutes that generally mean he’s got to start thinking about making an appearance at work.
Out in the living room, I hear Bonnie drop her purse onto the floor, just like she does every time she comes home, and then start opening cupboards in the kitchen.
“So, you and Bonnie are living together?”
I turn my head where it’s resting on his bicep. “How did you know it’s Bonnie?”
Finn makes an amused sound in the back of his throat and lifts his cigarette to his mouth. I told him he could smoke in here, but only after I wedged a towel into the gap under the door. I watch his perfect lips curl around the end of it. “I could smell her perfume the second I walked in the door. Not to mention the dresses scattered all over the couch.”
I laugh. Yeah, that’s Bonnie. “I needed a roommate. Apartments in Vegas are expensive.”
His eyes shift to me, but he doesn’t comment on this, just takes another puff of his cigarette. “Is she still…?”
Is she still working for Celia, is what he means. Is she still a call girl. “Yeah. She’s slowed down a bit, especially now that she’s not paying rent on her own. She actually…” I wonder if I should even mention it, but it’s already halfway out of my mouth, and Finn is listening closely, like he always does. “She’s actually the one who introduced me to Ethan.”
His mouth pulls into a hard line. “How did that happen?”
I burrow down into him, setting my chin on his warm chest. “Ethan’s best friend is one of Bonnie’s clients.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “So, then Ethan knows that you used to work with Bonnie?”
I press my cheek to his chest and shake my head, feeling it all come rushing up again. How could I have ever thought that Ethan was right for me, even if it wasn’t forever? “I never told him. He just thinks I’m Bonnie’s roommate. I knew he wouldn’t be okay with it.”
That muscle ticks behind his jaw again, and he looks at me, his eyes roving over my face. This is what Finn does, reading me until he knows all the things I can’t say out loud. Things like,I was just lonelyandhe’ll never know me like you do.
“He’s going out of town tomorrow. He’ll be away for a few days. Once he’s back, I’ll break up with him.”
He nods, not voicing his opinion on the matter. That’s Finn, letting me decide how and when I want to do something. Instead, he stretches beneath me and says, “I have to get to work.”
I turn my face and bite his ribcage. He flinches and then makes this sound in the back of his throat that’s something between want and surrender. He gets dressed while I use the bathroom, and when he throws open the bedroom door, dressed in the same suit he was wearing when he picked me up from the casino last night, I hear a squeal from the kitchen.
I chuckle and follow Finn out into the apartment, where Bonnie is looking him up and down like he’s a window display.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Finn Casey.” I can’t see Finn’s expression, not that there would be much of one, but a slow smile crosses Bonnie’s face. “I thought the cigarette I found on my kitchen floor might be yours. I would hug you, but I’m assuming you just got done railing my best friend, so I’ll refrain.”
At this, Finn says, “You’d be right.”
