Page 10 of A Wallflower's Christmas Wreath
He helped her sit on the woolen rug at their feet, watching as the flames licked the wood, the draft of the wind making the fire splutter and flame higher every so often.
"Do you ever wonder what will happen in the future? If this house will indeed be standing, or our town still prospering? I do hope that is the case," she declared.
"As do I." He paused, mulling over her question. "I would hope that my children and their children and grandchildren will be enjoying this estate, the grounds, the smugglers' caves."
"Cannot forget those smugglers' caves."
He studied her profile, a warm, comforting feeling wrapping about him, no matter how wild and wicked the storm outside raged.
"Do you wish to marry and have children, Heidi? We are the same age, and it's certainly something that I think about often." Did she want children? Did she still long for marriage and a husband?
Matthew frowned at the idea of her marrying some gentleman farmer or local lord and moving away. He wrinkled his nose at the idea, hoping she would remain a spinster and be close by forever.
And yet, that was not fair either.
She deserved love.
She deserved the world.
"I did, of course. I'm alone most nights as my cook returns to her cottage to be with her husband. As you know, most of my friends, too, have married and moved away. It seems we're both alone, but at least you have prospects. No one will wish to marry me now. I bring nothing to a union."
"That is not true, Heidi," he implored, taking her hand and placing it on his lap. "So what if you have no fortune? That is not what makes a person have worth. You have far more value than something so conceited."
She raised a skeptical brow. "How much brandy have you consumed this evening, my lord?" she asked, touching his forehead with the back of her hand. "Are you burning up? Perhaps you suffer from the ague."
He shook his head, pushing her hand away. "You may jest, but what I say is true. You are honest and caring. You do not discriminate against people who are better or worse off than you. Your laugh can make anyone stop and stare, smile at the wonderfulness of it. I think you are marvelous, and should you have had a Season, I know I would not be the only gentleman who would have noticed you."
Her cheeks burned a bright red, and without thought, Matthew reached out, brushing his thumb across her jaw. That she did not shy away from his touch but kept perfectly still gave him hope.
Was there something still between them? They had never discussed anything past friendship, but that did not mean there could not be more.
He was rich enough for both of them. She did not have to supply him with a dowry …
She moved away, severing the touch. "Come, Matthew, you always saw the best in people, maybe to your detriment. I am no different, and nor am I perfect. Do not forget I stormed up here this afternoon with no regard for my safety or the possibility you may have guests staying here to scold you. That hardly sounds like someone who is always kind."
Heidi did not particularlylike how her body reacted to Matthew's touch. Of course, when they were children, they often hugged, played, and ran about, but now everything was different.
They were both adults with adult thoughts, wants, and needs.
That her body had wanted to push into his caress like a cat obtaining a pat was not what she needed right now.
Her life was disheveled, a constant struggle to remain fed and clothed. She had only come up to the Levinstone Estate to berate the viscount, not allow him to touch her in inappropriate ways.
No matter how enticing that thought was or how utterly delightful his hands on her felt.
"We have not sat on the floor before a fire like this for many years. I did not think I would be doing so when I arrived here this afternoon. I thought I would be home by now, seeing out the storm in my cottage."
"I should have called on you. I feel that with one argument we had, we threw away a perfectly good friendship."
Without thought, Heidi reached out, clasping his hand. His fingers entwined with hers, and knots settled in her stomach. This time, however, she did not pull away.
Their eyes met.
Held.
"I should not have remained so angry at you, especially when I heard you had not married Lady Emma. I should have been there for you, helped you through your difficult time, even if we were at odds over your ball and whom you invited."
He played with her fingers, inspecting them, his brow furrowed in thought. He was so handsome. That had never changed about him. The boy she knew had grown into a tall, athletic, strong man who caught the eye of anyone who saw him.
